Divorce Advice

Why January is Such a Popular Month to Divorce

According to a number of reputable surveys, inquiries about and filings for divorce increase in the month of January nearly every year. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, often referred to as AAML, indicates that people contact attorneys at a rate of 33 percent higher in the month of January than in an average month. This sharp increase can be attributed to a number of factors. Here are some of the most likely reasons for an increased demand for divorce services in January. Waiting Until After the Holidays If you are like other divorcing couples, you may want to wait until after the holiday season is over to begin the divorce process. This will allow the most peaceful and stress-free holiday season for friends, family members, and children. By waiting until January to begin the divorce process, you may be able to preserve happy holiday memories for those around you while moving on with your own life in the most positive way possible. Holidays can be very important for the younger members of your family. It may make sense to delay divorce proceedings or talking about divorce until the holiday season has concluded. This will often provide your children with a sense of normalcy and a chance to enjoy gift-giving and family get-togethers before planning for the changes divorce will make in their life. Making a Fresh Start New Year’s Day is often a time for making resolutions and deciding on the direction in which you want to take your life in the upcoming year. This process of self-reflection may inspire some people to make major changes that may include divorce. If you have been wondering about divorce, January may seem like the perfect time to move on and move ahead without your current partner. Taking time to plan for your new life is essential to ensure the best outcomes for yourself, your former spouse and your children. You should consider a number of practical issues that include where you will live, who will assume your debts and what is required to separate your finances from that of your former spouse. Planning for Financial Expenditures Divorce can present significant financial challenges, including the need to establish separate households and the expense of the legal proceedings. Some couples may want to wait until they have received their year-end bonuses or other expected infusions of cash before embarking on the divorce process. This trend may reflect a need to stabilize finances before couples go their separate ways. The increase in divorce proceedings during the month of January may also be the result of credit card spending during the holidays, which can put a strain on relationships and may result in the need for delays in making the financial commitment to divorce. If you are planning to divorce in the near future, working with an attorney who offers divorce mediation may make the process easier and less costly. Consulting with an attorney who understands your issues and that can help you achieve your goals is the right solution for building the best future for yourself and your children.

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How to Reduce Holiday Stress Among Blended Families

Managing the holiday season with a blended family can be challenging. Finding ways to schedule celebrations, visits, and gift-giving occasions when dealing with two or more extended families can require significant time and effort on your part and on the part of your former spouse. Here are some of the most helpful strategies for handling the holidays with a blended and extended family. Get Everyone Involved Even if you and your current spouse are not on good terms with your former in-laws, the holiday season is the perfect time to put these hard feelings aside and include everyone in your celebration plans. Your children will benefit from maintaining contact with all members of your extended family. If you cannot bring yourself to visit or invite these family members, you may want to consult with your former spouse to make sure that he or she will make the effort and will include extended family members in their holiday plans. Take Turns One way to make sure that the holidays are equitable and fair is to take turns by alternating years for holiday celebrations between you and your former spouse. This can be accomplished in a number of ways: If you and your former spouse live in the same city, then you may be able to split the holidays by allowing your children to spend Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas Day with the other. This will help both of you enjoy the holiday experience with your children. Alternatively, you may be able to split the holiday vacation by weeks. Most children have about two weeks off school at the end of the year. By taking turns on which week you will have with your children and which week your former spouse will take, you can establish a schedule that works for all parties involved. Allotting plenty of time for both you and your former spouse to visit relatives and plan holiday activities is an excellent way to ensure that everyone enjoys this festive season this year and in the future. Establish New Family Traditions With the changes in schedule required after a divorce and subsequent remarriages, new family traditions can provide the added sense of stability your children need to feel confident and happy during the holidays. Planning a trip to a local restaurant or amusement center will allow all members of the family to bond more closely and enjoy the pleasures of the holiday season in a new way. For families that prefer to stay at home, board games, favorite movies and decorating the tree are all activities that can inspire feelings of merriment and joy for your children and your entire family. By working with your former spouse to create an inclusive and enjoyable holiday season, you can ensure the merriest atmosphere for everyone in your immediate and extended family. The holidays are a great time to put aside any feelings of resentment or anger and extend the hand of friendship to your co-parent and his or her extended family.

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Things to Know When Facing a Gray Divorce

Things to Know When Facing a Gray Divorce

Couples over the age of 50 represent an increasing share of the number of divorces in the United States. This phenomenon is known as gray divorce and it presents some interesting challenges for those in their later years. Understanding the reasons behind and the complications of divorce after the age of 50 will help couples navigate this process more effectively for themselves and their families. Some of the most important reasons that couples decide to divorce after the age of 50 include financial issues, addictions of various kinds, infidelity and simply growing apart. Financial disagreements and difficulties often play a role in any divorce and particularly in gray divorce cases. Poor financial management and large amounts of debt can put stress on the marriage and can lead one or both parties to look for a way out of the situation. Addictions to drugs, alcohol or gambling are also major issues that can result in the breakup of a marriage. This is especially true for couples who are also under financial pressure or who have limited resources to devote to these addictive behaviors. Infidelity is a factor in gray divorce just as it is for younger couples. In some cases, older people may feel that they have limited time left to find a person with whom they can be happy. This can lead both to infidelities and to a greater willingness to divorce when they are unhappy in their marriages. As couples grow older, they may find they do not have similar interests. Growing apart is one of the most common reasons for couples to divorce after the age of 50. Children may also be uncomfortable or unhappy with the idea of their parents entering the dating scene again. Being open and honest is usually the best policy when planning a resumption of dating or establishing a new relationship after a divorce. Division of assets and debts will typically be challenging for couples at any age. For divorce proceedings for people over the age of 50, however, the process may be complicated by retirement income, Social Security payments, life insurance policies and other financial arrangements that may be difficult to untangle. If one spouse worked while the other did not, this can also create issues if the non-working spouse cannot find a way to support himself or herself. Working with an attorney who specializes in gray divorce is generally the best way to handle these legal arrangements and to achieve the best outcomes for you and your spouse alike. By working with an attorney with experience in this field, you can ensure that your divorce goes smoothly and that you can enjoy the most comfortable life in your golden years.

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Tips for How to Bring Up Divorce to Your Spouse

Beginning an initial discussion about divorce with your spouse can be a difficult process. You may be unsure of how they will react or may be worried about the impact of divorce on your financial and family arrangements. Planning ahead for this conversation can often provide you with added confidence when bringing up the topic with your partner. Here are a few helpful tips to help you introduce the subject of divorce in California in a calm and non-confrontational way. Consider the Short-term and Long-term Effects Before bringing up the topic of divorce with your spouse, it is a good idea to consider your current financial situation, living arrangements and responsibilities to minor children or other members of your family. Making a clear plan about how to manage these issues can help you feel more self-assured when beginning discussions about divorce with your spouse. Even if your current plans are not immediately acceptable to your partner, you can at least present a general outline of what you would like to see happen. Choose Your Time and Place Carefully The right environment can have a significant impact on your spouse’s reaction to the topic of divorce. Finding a quiet moment at home or in a secluded location is likely to help your partner feel more at ease. Divorce is an emotional subject that could lead to tears, anger or other reactions. Making sure that both of you are as calm and comfortable as possible will often make the discussion easier and more productive. Don’t Act Impulsively During the heat of an argument, it may be appealing to throw the idea of divorce into the fight to try to gain the upper hand. This can be counterproductive and may result in more problems for your marriage. Discussing the idea of divorce should be reserved for calmer moments when both you and your partner are prepared to look at the situation from a relatively objective standpoint. Be as Honest as Possible Stating your reasons for wanting a divorce in plain and direct terms will often result in greater understanding of the situation for both of you. While it is usually not recommended to rehash all the problems and issues between the two of you, a simple statement that includes your main reasons for considering divorce will often provide your partner with the chance to respond with his or her own view on the subject. Seek Legal Counsel Touching base with an attorney or divorce mediation team can provide you with added help when planning for your divorce in California. These legal professionals can help you protect your financial assets and deal with any concerns about the procedural aspects of divorce. A Note About COVID-19 Restrictions put in place during the COVID-19 pandemic can make it difficult for you and your spouse to find the right time and place for divorce discussions. Especially if you have children, you may find it difficult to get the privacy you need for this conversation. In some cases, it may be possible to find a quiet moment after the children are asleep or while they are playing outside to have this discussion. Be sure to let your partner know the topic of the discussion before beginning your talk. Working with an attorney who offers divorce mediation services can allow for a smoother and less contentious process for your divorce in California. By taking a thoughtful and considerate approach to initial divorce discussions, you can pave the way for a more cordial relationship with your former spouse in the future.

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How Technology Can Help Simplify Divorce

Modern technologies are making it easier for divorcing couples to navigate the legal process and to streamline their proceedings. This can add up to reduced costs and improved communication between former partners. Learning about the available applications and how they can help you to manage the process of divorcing will allow both you and your partner to communicate clearly and to navigate the dissolution of your marriage in the most practical and positive way possible. These four tools can help you deal with the process from start to finish. dtour.life Designed to help divorcing couples manage the legal process more effectively, dtour.life is an ideal starting point for obtaining information on divorce in California. This app allows clear and accurate communication between divorcing couples and their attorneys. You and your former partner can fill in forms online, provide information about income, expenses, assets and debts and access databases of information that can make the legal process much simpler and less stressful for both of you. Your attorneys will also appreciate the convenience and ease of use of this advanced computer application, which allows practical case management for attorneys and law firms in managing the dissolution of your marriage. FamilyDocket Another application designed specifically for use during divorce proceedings, FamilyDocket allows for the capture of text messages between divorcing couples and the storage of a wide range of information, including the following: Reimbursable expense requests and reports Tasks assigned to and information returned by divorcing couples Supporting documents for cases Summary emails that offer prioritized access to urgent items and tasks that require your review A searchable database of information that can put all documents relevant to your case at your attorney’s fingertips. This advanced technological tool is ideal for managing cases that are being handled by collaborative attorneys as well as traditional court proceedings. By taking advantage of this practical application, you and your former partner can often reduce the amount of time needed to complete the dissolution of your marriage in the state of California. SupportPay For families dealing with child support and expense sharing arrangements, SupportPay offers real advantages. SupportPay offers one-stop solutions for making, recording and receiving child support, alimony, spousal support, and expenses. This is a practical way for divorcing or divorced couples to manage the monetary aspects of their breakup without requiring personal contact or the stress that can sometimes accompany in-person meetings. Our Family Wizard Our Family Wizard is a great way to begin the process of co-parenting on the right note. By allowing you to communicate with your former spouse in the most positive way, this application allows a more collaborative co-parenting experience for both of you. The information stored in Our Family Wizard can also provide added documentation for your attorneys to help streamline the process of divorcing in California.  If looking for another helpful app to assist with communicating with a co-parent, read our previous post on using the coParenter App, which integrates artificial intelligence and human mediation to promote the best outcomes for children and their parents after a divorce.

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