Child Custody

How Can Domestic Violence Affect Your Children?

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Witnessing domestic violence can be confusing and frightening for children. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, exposure to domestic violence can cause developmental delays and can damage the emotional, cognitive and social abilities of children and adolescents. Children who witness episodes of violence in the home may be more prone to bedwetting, behavioral issues and substance abuse. This can have a serious impact on their ability to lead happy and healthy lives in the future. Taking steps to protect your children from these events can be a positive step toward a brighter future for yourself and your family. Protecting Children from Domestic Violence The California court system provides a framework that can help you protect your children from the damaging effects of domestic violence. Retaining the services of a divorce lawyer in California can provide you with expert guidance on filing for and enforcing restraining orders that can prevent your partner from causing further harm to you or your children. Filing a restraining order is usually a good first step toward ending the cycle of domestic violence. Child Custody and Domestic Violence Allegations of domestic abuse can have a serious impact on the outcome of your divorce case. In most cases, a judge cannot award joint or sole custody to a parent who has been convicted of domestic violence or has been adjudicated by the courts as having committed domestic violence during the last five years. Visitation may still be allowed by the courts. Parents who have committed domestic abuse may be allowed custody of their children if they can demonstrate that this would be in the best interest of the children and if certain other criteria have been satisfied: Completion of a year-long batterer intervention program Adherence to the rules of probation, parole or restraining orders, if applicable No further domestic violence Completion of all court-ordered counseling and education plans Retaining the professional services of an experienced divorce lawyer in California can provide added help in protecting children from domestic violence and ensuring the safest environment for the youngest members of your family. Mediation Services for Child Custody If domestic abuse or violence is a factor in your divorce proceedings, you may be required to go to custody mediation or counseling to determine the best arrangement for your children. In some cases, this may present serious concerns about safety on the part of the target of previous domestic violence. If you have a restraining order against your partner, you can usually arrange to meet with the mediator separately to ensure greater safety. Working with a qualified divorce lawyer in California can also provide you with added information on the options available to you when creating a parenting plan for yourself, your former spouse and your children.   Exposure to domestic violence can be extremely harmful to children. By taking steps to remove yourself and your children from the abuser and working toward a safe and secure resolution, you can mitigate some of the problems experienced by children who grow up in these situations. This can allow you to provide a healthier environment for yourself and the children in your care.

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How to Remain Cooperative when Co-Parenting

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Establishing and maintaining a collaborative approach to parenting is essential for divorced parents who share custody. Co-parenting can be a challenge, however. Finding ways to set boundaries and share responsibilities can provide a solid framework for raising your children together. Creating a workable co-parenting plan is a good first step toward achieving the healthiest environment for kids and adults alike. Here are some proven co-parenting tips for you and your former partner. Show Solidarity Making a point to discuss matters of importance together when talking with your children can prevent them from attempting to play the two of you against each other. This is especially important when setting ground rules for your children and instituting punishments for misbehavior. By making sure that both of you are on the same page regarding discipline and rules, you can provide a stable and secure environment for the children in your care.     Maintain Clear Lines of Communication Staying in close touch with your co-parenting partner can help you in a number of important ways. Open lines of communication can keep you in the loop about medical issues, educational progress and other events that affect the well-being of your children. By making sure that you and your former spouse or partner can talk easily to each other, you can provide better support for the children you two share.     Stay Positive About Your Former Partner No matter what issues contributed to the breakup of your relationship, making sure your children feel comfortable in talking with and confiding in both parents can help them adjust more quickly and easily to new living arrangements. By refraining from making negative comments and presenting a united front to the children for whom you are responsible, you can present a good example while helping them to feel more secure.     Stick to the Co-Parenting Plan If you have already decided on the educational, medical and religious experiences you want for your children, making changes to these established arrangements should not take place on a unilateral basis. Taking the time to discuss any changes with your former spouse and co-parent can help you build trust and create a positive environment for your children.   Allow for Some Flexibility Making accommodations for changing schedules and responsibilities can help you and your former partner work together more effectively over the long run. Unexpected opportunities and obstacles can occur at any time. Allowing for changes to the schedule and going out of your way to help your co-parent manage issues as they arise can often create a more amicable atmosphere that can result in them returning the favor when your needs require it. By treating your co-parent in the way you would like to be treated yourself, you can build a positive relationship based on mutual respect. While your romance may be over, you can still share the joy of parenthood with your former spouse. Together, you can continue to build a solid foundation for the children you created together.

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Five Important Things You Should Know About Collaborative Divorce

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Collaborative divorce is an alternative to the standard court procedures generally involved in the dissolution of marriage. If you live in the state of California and you and your partner are committed to doing what is best for your family, you can choose a collaborative divorce where you and your spouse can maintain control through every step of the divorce process. If interested, here are five of the most important facts you should know about collaborative divorces in California.   You Will Still Need a Lawyer Your attorney is responsible for protecting your legal rights throughout your divorce proceedings. Differences of opinion and conflicts can arise. Collaborative divorce anticipates these potential differences and requires each party to retain his or her collaborative attorney who represents you throughout the process. As part of the team, your attorney will help you construct the best outcome for your family. Financial Issues Often Present Obstacles Before signing on to the collaborative divorce process, it is important to become familiar with the financial aspects of your divorce to determine how best to divide assets and debts. Making sure that you and your former partner are on the same page financially and that both of you are aware of all outstanding debts and assets can reduce the risk of a critical breakdown in the process that could increase the cost of your divorce considerably.   A Contract Will Be Required Many teams that specialize in collaborative divorces require that both partners sign a contract at the outset of these proceedings. The agreement may include stipulations that neither party to the divorce will engage in certain activities, including the following: •    Filing motions in court •    Threatening to file legal actions •    Withholding relevant information about financial assets and debts Failure to adhere to these contractual agreements can result in the termination of the process and the loss of any funds invested in the process. As a result, it is a good idea to ensure that both you and your former spouse commit to this method before signing on the dotted line. Collaborative Solutions Can Work Better for Couples with Children If you have minor children, choosing a collaborative solution can be healthier and less stressful for these members of your family. By demonstrating that you are willing to work with your partner to reach a common goal, you will model good behavior for your children and provide them with greater security as they navigate the new situation. Collaborating to find the best solutions for your children can allow you to create an atmosphere of cooperation and goodwill with the other parent after your divorce is final. Both Partners Must Agree In the state of California, collaborative divorce is an optional and voluntary process. Even if you prefer this method of divorce, your spouse or partner must also agree to the contractual obligations and the process before you can begin a collaborative divorce. Making sure that both you and your partner understand the process and are ready to work together can streamline the dissolution of your marriage. The collaborative divorce process works most efficiently when both partners proceed with honesty and respect for each other. If you are still on civil terms and able to discuss financial and personal matters with each other, then this process may be a better, healthier way to dissolve your marriage and move ahead to the future.   If you and your spouse are interested in seeking a collaborative divorce and live in or around Fresno, California call 559-226-4008 today! The collaborative attorneys from the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess are motivated to achieve a mutually acceptable resolution for all parties.

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How to Create Successful Parenting Plans for the School Year

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Returning to school after summer break can be a stressful time for children because there can be a lot of change involved. Some kids may jump at the idea of being in a new classroom with a new teacher and classmates while others, may feel anxious and nervous.   When children go back to school, it can also be a difficult time for divorced couples especially when parenting arrangements are not predetermined. Common concerns that can often arise include who will go to parent-teacher conferences, who will take care of the child when he or she is ill and who will be the point of contact in the case of an emergency.   To help the entire family make a smooth transition into the school year, parents can take initiative and address key areas ahead of time so that there is zero conflict surrounding the return to school. The idea is to address all of the areas that can potentially become problems and set expectations ahead of time. Topics that divorced or separated parents may want to discuss, include the following:   Back to School Shopping With children going back to school comes the responsibility of getting them prepared. School preparations often involve going shopping for things like school supplies, sports equipment and new clothing. It is important for separated parents to communicate with one another, discuss what is needed and decide on a plan for who will purchase what items.   Parents involved in a successful co-parenting plan may decide to shop together as a family while others may choose to take a different approach. It can be fairly common to see couples agree to go “Dutch” with the school supplies and split the final cost total straight down the middle or divide the list in two and each be responsible for purchasing specific items. Regardless of what is decided, prearranging back to school shopping plans can be a wise decision because it can help alleviate stress for both parents and children.   School Schedules With all of the extra-curricular activities children may be involved in, coordinating school schedules can become quite the ordeal even for parents who are not divorced. When divided between two households, scheduling takes on a whole new level of complexity, so it is important to stay on top of things and generate a detailed plan for dealing with school schedules.   If parents are unable to come together to make joint decisions, it may help to predetermine which parent will have the decision-making authority when it comes to after school activities. It may also prove to be of great benefit to decide how to handle transportation to and from extracurricular activities. With full schedules, it can even help to create a shared calendar with your ex so that you can eliminate any miscommunication.   School Contact   It can also help to determine which parent will serve as the emergency contact and develop a process for sharing school-related information. You may also want to decide on who will be the point of contact for the school and the teacher. Will it be both parents or just one? If just one parent—will the or she be responsible for relaying all of the messages and if so, how will this be accomplished? Will messages be shared via email or phone? These are all factors you may want to consider when creating a process for keeping everyone informed.       Communication   Children whose parents are divorced should not serve as a messenger. Parents should always talk directly to each other because using children as the in between can cause him or her lots of stress. If you find yourself disagreeing with your spouse regarding scheduling conflicts, find a place to work things out with your husband or wife that does not involve your children. Remember, your goal should always be to keep things simple and stress-free for your kids.         If you and your spouse find yourselves unable to come together  to establish a successful back-to-school parenting plan, the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess can help! Contact Us Today!

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Sharing Custody if You do not Share Religion

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When you and your spouse do not share a common religion, it can further complicate your divorce especially when you both wish to share your religion and cultural traditions with your child. The good news is that even though you both have differing religious views, there are ways to share custody and religion.   In divorce proceedings, the courts tend to leave religion out of the equation unless you or your spouse bring up concerns about how the other’s religious preferences may be endangering the welfare of your child. With most courts leaving it to parents to decide, more couples seem to be agreeing to raise their children with two religions. Some people may argue that children raised with two faiths may grow up confused. However, that may not always be the case because if you are an interfaith couple and decide to raise your child with two religions, it can benefit him or her through promoting the following:     Clarity About Differences If you are an interfaith couple and force your child into identifying with only one religion, he or she may struggle with feeling guilty or angry on behalf of the parent that now practices a different religion. The good news is that if you encourage your child to practice multiple religions, he or she may not develop this animosity towards one parent. Initially, your child may feel a bit confused because he or she is practicing two religions. However, the idea is that in the end, your child will feel less confused because he or she is learning more about differences.       Respect You can teach your child an invaluable lesson by encouraging him or her to practice and learn about two separate religions. Children will often identify and appreciate the respect you show them by helping them to make their own decisions regarding their religion. Contrary to what some couples may believe, agreeing to raise interfaith children does not have to be viewed as a compromise but more of a liberalizing decision. Lead by example and teach your child a valuable life lesson about respect and when the time comes, honor his or her decision to choose.       Acceptance Deciding to raise your child as interfaith does not mean you will mesh the two religions together. Instead, you will help your child learn about and understand two different faiths. In doing this, you can contribute to teaching him or her about multiculturalism and the importance of acceptance in the world.       Inquisitiveness Teaching your child about two religions promotes the idea that there is always more to learn and can consequently lead him or her to become more inquisitive and ask more questions. Asking questions will help your child learn and is an important habit of innovative thinkers, and who does not want his or her child to be a creative thinker?   As you can see, there are many benefits to raising an interfaith child. However, the reality is that not everyone can agree to these terms. If you and your spouse are unable to agree to your child’s religious pursuits, and you require legal assistance, contact the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess. We are here to help with collaboration, mediation and if needed, litigation.   Contact Us Today

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Helpful Suggestions for Handling Parenting Plans During Summer Vacation

Child Custody /

The majority of parenting plans outline how to handle time-share during the summer months. However, even when a set schedule is in place, conflicts may arise for a variety of reasons such as when: one spouse wishes to take an out-of-state vacation a parent’s work schedule does not align with his or her designated times with the children. It is important to avoid subjecting children to unnecessary conflict associated with adjusting the parenting plan so it may be best for parents to keep an open mind and work together so that summer vacation runs seamlessly for everyone. To help with the process of arranging time-share during the summer months, here are some helpful tips.   Plan Vacations Well in Advance It is essential to plan your vacation, set a schedule and stick to that itinerary especially if your planned vacation digs into your ex’s time with your child. If you fail to establish vacation time and agree to certain terms, you risk upsetting everyone’s summer and returning to court due to time-share. Reaching an agreement that pleases everyone may not be an issue for parents committed to successfully co-parenting. However, for parents struggling to keep things amicable, agreeing to summer vacations can be a real challenge. If you are in such a challenging situation such as this, it can be beneficial to sit down with your ex to create a summer vacation schedule that can be signed and enforceable. If needed, you and your spouse can seek assistance from a family law lawyer or mediator who can help make the necessary arrangements to set the summer vacation schedule so all parties are clear on when and where the kids will be throughout the summer.   Practice Open Communication Communicate With Each Other to Successfully Co-Parent Open and clear communication can be essential to successful co-parenting so if you and your spouse are on decent terms, be sure to communicate directly with one another when scheduling issues arise. It is vital to refrain from using children as messengers so make sure all planning and scheduling concerns stay among adults. Encourage Children to Maintain Communication With Their Other Parent When it comes to communication, it is also important that parents with custody consider the other parent and allow their child to communicate with them while on vacation.   Always Consider Your Child’s Feelings Emotions For kids, a summer vacation arrangement may be a huge change especially if the child will be staying in a new environment, spending significantly less time with one parent or is subjected to meeting new people. It is helpful to identify the emotional impact this can have on children so that you, as a parent, can help them through this difficult time. Talking to your child and explaining to him or her that the emotions he or she is feeling are valid can contribute to the child maintaining emotional stability. An important note to parents here is to acknowledge the fact that children may drastically miss their other parent. Missing the parent they are apart from is a normal feeling for a child and should not be taken personally. If you live in the Fresno area and are having issues resolving parenting plan disputes, contact the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess.

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