Mediation

What Divorce Mediation Really Looks Like

Divorce mediation can be a solid solution for couples who no longer wish to be married but are not on hostile terms with each other. Understanding the five stages that typically make up the mediation process will help you and your former spouse determine if this option is the right one for you. Here are the five stages of divorce mediation.  Introducing Mediation During this stage of divorce mediation, you and your former partner will meet with the mediator to provide basic information and to determine whether you are good candidates for this process. Your mediator will typically use this first series of meetings as a way to evaluate the level of anger and hurt feelings and to assess the chances of success for a mediated divorce. Gathering Information Your mediator will also request a wide range of information from you and your former partner, including information on any children, living arrangements, financial matters and other issues that could affect the progress of your divorce. Providing accurate information to your mediator can help you and your former spouse come to an equitable arrangement about your finances, custody arrangements and the terms of your divorce. The information-gathering stage of mediation happens early in the process to allow time for corrections and to make sure that all information is available to make the right decisions for your case. Framing the Discussion After most or all of the information has been collected by your mediator, he or she will begin the process of framing your divorce discussions in terms of your primary goals and desired outcomes. This may involve joint or individual sessions that will highlight the goals and wishes of both you and your former partner. The framing process will help your mediator determine the best approach for working through any differences and will help you achieve your goals as a divorced couple. Negotiating Terms The hard work of mediation generally takes place during negotiations regarding all aspects of your divorce proceedings, including the following: Child custody and visitation arrangements Decisions regarding the education, medical treatments and religious upbringing of children Division of marital assets and debts Living arrangements Divorce mediators specialize in finding workable compromises that allow both you and your former spouse to get at least part of what you want during your divorce proceedings. Your mediator will work with you to determine the best and most practical solutions for managing the terms of your divorce for both you and your former spouse. Concluding the Mediation Process When all elements of your divorce have been worked out to the satisfaction of both you and your former spouse, your mediator will create a settlement agreement for you to review. If you both agree to sign, the settlement agreement will be submitted to the courts as part of the documentation associated with your divorce. Divorce mediation can reduce the disputes that often accompany the end of a marriage and the beginning of new separate lives. For couples who can find a way to reach agreements on most major issues, mediation is a solid solution that can lower levels of stress and tension throughout the divorce process.

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Tips for Getting Your Spouse to Agree to Divorce Mediation

If you are planning to divorce in the state of California in the near future, divorce mediation may be a workable solution for you and your former spouse. These divorce options allow you both to provide your input on the division of debts and assets, child custody and living arrangements during and after the decree is final. Here are some practical ways to convince your former partner to consider mediation for your upcoming divorce. Be Upfront With Your Intentions Bringing up the subject of meditation should not be an exercise in subterfuge. Openness and honesty will more often persuade your former partner to your position than attempts at trickery or subtlety. Being upfront about your wish to use mediation for your divorce proceedings will typically provide the best outcomes for these efforts. Attempt to Reduce Conflict These strategies can typically pay off in a more cordial relationship between you and your former spouse, which can usually result in improved results for divorce mediation proceedings. Explain the Benefits of Mediation Doing a little research on the mediation process and the advantage of using mediation to manage your divorce will often help you to make the most compelling case when broaching the subject to your former partner. Some of the most important benefits of mediation may include the following: By approaching your divorce in a calm and civil manner, you and your former spouse can achieve the best results and the most streamlined divorce proceedings possible. This can have real benefits for you and your children and will typically ensure that you achieve your goals of separate lives and brighter futures in the most positive way possible.

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When Divorce Mediation Can Work For You

Divorce mediation is a solid choice for couples who are on relatively good terms during their divorce proceedings. By opting for a mediated divorce rather than going to court to determine the terms of your divorce, you can often create mutually beneficial arrangements that will help both you and your former partner move on with your lives. Mediation may also be recommended for couples with children to provide the most comfortable interactions between parents and the best environment for children when navigating a divorce. Deciding whether mediation is the right choice for you and your former spouse can help you manage your divorce in the most practical way for your situation. Are You a Good Candidate for Divorce Mediation? Couples that successfully navigate the mediation process generally share some common traits. These characteristics can make the difference between a mediated divorce and one that ends up in court because of issues that cannot be resolved in a less formal setting. Here are some of the most important elements that must be present for mediation to be successful. Both Parties Must Agree to the Divorce The first and most important element for mediating your divorce successfully is an agreement on the part of both you and your former partner to divorce. Mediation is not appropriate for cases in which one partner does not want to divorce and is likely to contest those proceedings in and out of court. There Must Be No History of Abuse If abuse has been present at any point during the relationship, mediation is unlikely to be the right solution for your divorce. This includes abuse of your children as well as domestic abuse. If you or your former spouse have a history of abuse, enlisting a divorce attorney and going to court is usually the best way to deal with child custody and other matters pertaining to your divorce proceedings. You Should Be Able and Willing to Communicate Clearly Establishing clear lines of communication and being able to talk calmly and without undue emotion is also essential for a successful mediation process. This may involve talking with your mediation attorney or directly with your former spouse. In either case, leaving the anger and disappointment behind during mediation is likely to provide you with a better experience and more practical solutions throughout your divorce process. Both Parties Should Be Willing to Compromise Compromise and negotiation are at the heart of the mediation process. If you are unwilling to give up any of the things you want to reach an equitable agreement about, mediation is not the right choice for you. Negotiating a mutually satisfactory divorce will require a fair amount of give and take for both you and your former partner. A willingness to compromise is one of the most essential elements in a successful mediation process. For couples who are on fairly good terms, divorce mediation can provide added control over the process and the outcomes of these proceedings. This will often allow you and your former spouse to make the most practical decisions for your children and to move on with your lives in the most positive way possible.

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How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation

Divorce can be a challenging and emotional time for you and your former spouse. Finding a divorce mediator you can trust is a good first step toward reducing stress and ensuring the most positive outcomes for your case. Here are some key steps to help you prepare for divorce mediation in the state of California. Commit to the Process Divorce mediation requires the willing participation of both parties to the divorce. Discussing this option with your former partner can help you determine whether these arrangements make sense in your case. In general, divorce mediation works best for couples who are on relatively good terms with each other and who are willing to hear the other party’s voice so that both parties can achieve their goals during this process. Collect Financial Records An important part of the mediation process is compiling a comprehensive list of debts, assets and incomes to determine the most equitable way to divide these elements of your current property. By providing a full and honest accounting of the financial equation, you can build a rapport and create trust that can help you navigate the entire mediation process more effectively. Be Prepared to Listen During the divorce mediation process, you will be asked to identify the most important issues to be addressed during these proceedings. Being willing to hear the other person’s concerns and acknowledge the value and importance of those concerns is the key to ensuring that your mediation goes smoothly and that you achieve your most important goals in your divorce. Consider the Welfare of Your Children One aspect of divorce mediation California couples cite as most beneficial is the ability to put the interests of your children first. By working together, you and your former spouse can come to enduring agreements on a number of different issues: Where your children will live Parenting plans Medical care and insurance arrangements Educational options Religious or spiritual upbringing Child support Who will claim your children as dependents If you opt for mediation over court proceedings for your divorce, you may be able to make adjustments to these arrangements without returning to the court to submit your request. This can streamline any changes and can help you maintain more control over the process during and after your divorce. Choose an Experienced Mediator Working with an experienced and qualified mediator can make a major difference in the quality of the results you achieve and the speed of the process. Your mediator should be responsive to your concerns and should have the right qualifications to perform these duties. Making sure that your mediator has the experience and expertise needed to handle your case can be critical to the success of your mediation process. Divorce mediation can be less expensive and more convenient than comparable court proceedings. By preparing effectively to work together with your former partner and to achieve mutually beneficial outcomes, you and your former spouse may be able to reduce the stress typically associated with the traditional divorce process.

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How Can Domestic Violence Affect Your Children?

Witnessing domestic violence can be confusing and frightening for children. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, exposure to domestic violence can cause developmental delays and can damage the emotional, cognitive and social abilities of children and adolescents. Children who witness episodes of violence in the home may be more prone to bedwetting, behavioral issues and substance abuse. This can have a serious impact on their ability to lead happy and healthy lives in the future. Taking steps to protect your children from these events can be a positive step toward a brighter future for yourself and your family. Protecting Children from Domestic Violence The California court system provides a framework that can help you protect your children from the damaging effects of domestic violence. Retaining the services of a divorce lawyer in California can provide you with expert guidance on filing for and enforcing restraining orders that can prevent your partner from causing further harm to you or your children. Filing a restraining order is usually a good first step toward ending the cycle of domestic violence. Child Custody and Domestic Violence Allegations of domestic abuse can have a serious impact on the outcome of your divorce case. In most cases, a judge cannot award joint or sole custody to a parent who has been convicted of domestic violence or has been adjudicated by the courts as having committed domestic violence during the last five years. Visitation may still be allowed by the courts. Parents who have committed domestic abuse may be allowed custody of their children if they can demonstrate that this would be in the best interest of the children and if certain other criteria have been satisfied: Completion of a year-long batterer intervention program Adherence to the rules of probation, parole or restraining orders, if applicable No further domestic violence Completion of all court-ordered counseling and education plans Retaining the professional services of an experienced divorce lawyer in California can provide added help in protecting children from domestic violence and ensuring the safest environment for the youngest members of your family. Mediation Services for Child Custody If domestic abuse or violence is a factor in your divorce proceedings, you may be required to go to custody mediation or counseling to determine the best arrangement for your children. In some cases, this may present serious concerns about safety on the part of the target of previous domestic violence. If you have a restraining order against your partner, you can usually arrange to meet with the mediator separately to ensure greater safety. Working with a qualified divorce lawyer in California can also provide you with added information on the options available to you when creating a parenting plan for yourself, your former spouse and your children.   Exposure to domestic violence can be extremely harmful to children. By taking steps to remove yourself and your children from the abuser and working toward a safe and secure resolution, you can mitigate some of the problems experienced by children who grow up in these situations. This can allow you to provide a healthier environment for yourself and the children in your care.

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