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How to Transition From Being Spouses to Being Co-Parents

Are you currently dealing with a divorce in California where there are children involved? If so, ensuring the welfare of your children is probably a top priority for you and your former spouse. Managing the transition from marriage to separate households and separate parenting duties can be a challenge. Here are some of the most practical tips for divorcing couples in the state of California. Establish Boundaries Successful co-parenting often requires that both parties establish boundaries regarding their personal lives and relationships. Setting boundaries helps to prevent hard feelings and avoid emotional upsets that can jeopardize your ability to work together for the benefit of your children. By creating guidelines for discussing your parenting responsibilities and making specific topics off-limits, you can pave the way for a more positive relationship. Present a United Front Making sure that you and your former spouse are on the same page regarding responsibilities and shared information can help you deal with situations more easily. If you and your co-parent can agree on fundamental issues involving your children, you can eliminate disagreements that may cause problems for your children and your co-parenting plan. Consider a Collaborative Divorce One way to maintain a cordial and perhaps even friendly relationship with your former spouse is to consider collaborative divorce proceedings. These arrangements can allow you to work more effectively when deciding on custody, educational options and medical care for your children. Seeking a collaborative divorce can also help you manage the complexities of divorce in a way that is beneficial for all. Remember Your Shared Goals Although your marriage is over, the health and well-being of your children should be a top priority for you and your former partner. By keeping the shared goal of raising healthy and happy children in mind when discussing issues with your former spouse, you can foster positive interactions that help you obtain the best outcomes for your children. Being on the same page can also help children weather the California divorce process because it can provide them with emotional support throughout the process. Maintain Open Lines of Communication Staying in close contact with your co-parent can be the best way to provide a stable and secure environment for your children. Letting your former spouse know about school activities and athletic competitions can ensure they can be present for these important events in your child’s life. By working together and providing key information to each other, you and your former partner can ensure that your children know they are loved and supported even after the end of your marriage. By taking a collaborative approach to your divorce proceedings, you can ease the transition from life as a married couple to that of co-parents to your children. Collaboration can also help you and your former partner begin your new lives in a more positive and cordial manner and provide you with added help for providing the best support to your children during this difficult time.

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How to Prepare Financially for Divorce

Even before you begin divorce proceedings, it is a good idea to start planning for the divorce process. Preparing yourself financially and emotionally can help you deal with the expenses and stresses that can accompany divorce proceedings. Here are a few of the most effective strategies to help you prepare for divorce in the state of California. Open Your Own Bank Account Most married couples maintain joint accounts to make bill paying and other expenditures easier. If you are considering divorce, you should open a separate bank account, which will help streamline the process for separating your finances from those of your former spouse. This can save time and worry later on in your divorce proceedings and can help you manage your money more effectively in the period preceding your divorce. Close Joint Bank Accounts Closing the bank accounts you hold jointly can also help you and your former partner prepare for divorce. By beginning the process of separating your finances, you can ensure the smoothest transition from marriage to divorce and your new life. The process of closing your joint bank accounts will require cooperation between you and your former spouse. Save Your Money Divorce can sometimes be an expensive process. Saving up money during the time leading up to filing for divorce can help you manage the costs of hiring an attorney and the court costs associated with your proceedings. By avoiding any major expenditures during this period, you can also ensure that you have sufficient cash on hand to manage moving expenses and other essentials during and after your divorce. Discuss Matters of Financial Importance If you and your former spouse have children or if you have other significant responsibilities that must be handled, taking the time to discuss these matters can sometimes provide you with peace of mind and a more streamlined approach to these matters. Some of the most important topics for discussion may include the following: Custody and child support for minor children in your care The division of assets and debts during the divorce proceedings Retention or sale of the family home Living arrangements and spousal support If you and your former partner can come to an agreement on these issues before beginning divorce proceedings, you can often reduce the time needed to complete your divorce. This can sometimes reduce the cost of legal services and can help you and your former spouse to manage these decisions more effectively. Document Your Finances Making copies of your financial documents, including bank and mortgage statements and pay stubs, can ensure that you can provide your attorney with the most complete and comprehensive information on your financial situation. This can often help you make the most practical and beneficial arrangements during the divorce process. By taking proactive steps to manage your finances during the period leading up to your divorce, you can weather the process more successfully. A little bit of planning in advance can pay off by improving financial stability during and after your divorce.

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Helpful Tips for a Healthy Divorce

Finding a way to navigate divorce proceedings effectively can provide benefits for you, your partner and your children. A few helpful hints can make a big difference in your comfort level and your experience during the divorce process. Here are some of the most effective strategies for finding common ground and making the divorce easier on everyone involved. Deal with Your Emotions Divorce can be painful and emotionally exhausting. Taking steps to deal with your feelings and putting them aside during your divorce proceedings can help you make the most practical and rational choices for you and your family. Controlling your emotions will also help set a good example for your children and can help you maintain a cordial relationship with your former spouse until after your divorce is complete. Be Willing to Negotiate Looking for points on which you and your former spouse agree upon helps build a solid foundation for negotiations and compromises that can help expedite your divorce proceedings. Negotiating can help streamline the process for determining the division of assets and debts, child custody, child support arrangements and other decisions of importance during your divorce. This can make the process less painful for you and your former partner because each of you will have a say in the decision-making process. Take Time Out for You It can be easy to overlook your health and well-being during a difficult divorce. Neglecting your health can lead to issues which may result in a reduced ability to deal with the stresses and processes involved when going through a divorce. By setting aside time to relax and decompress, you can better prepare yourself for the divorce process. Be Honest With Your Kids While you may not be comfortable sharing all of the details of your divorce with your children, being as honest as possible can help your children feel more secure about the overall process. By providing honest information on a need-to-know basis, you can promote a healthier attitude in front of your children. Consider Divorce Mediation Divorce mediation can provide you with added help in keeping your divorce proceedings as cordial and productive as possible. Lawyers who offer mediation services can provide you with cost-effective and practical solutions for child support, child custody as well as the division of assets and debts. By integrating these four strategies into your overall approach when seeking a divorce, you can take some of the stress out of the process while promoting a healthy environment for everyone. This can help all of you begin your new lives in the best possible way!

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How Long Does the Divorce Mediation Process Take?

The length of time needed to complete your divorce mediation process may vary considerably depending on the complexity of the proceedings. Understanding the factors that can affect the duration of your mediation can help you manage your expectations and help you deal with the negotiation process more easily. Here are some of the primary factors that could affect the length of time needed to complete your divorce. Do You Have Children? When children are involved, it can significantly complicate divorce cases even for situations handled by a mediation attorney. If you have children, a number of issues may arise during your divorce proceedings, including the following: Child custody and visitation rights Parenting plans, including living arrangements Child support Religious, medical and educational matters If you and your former partner can agree on these matters quickly, it can help speed up your divorce proceedings. In most cases, however, the courts will look at these arrangements carefully to make sure they are in the best interests of your children and are workable for you and your former spouse. Do You Have Substantial Debts or Assets? Dividing your debts and assets can be more difficult and time-consuming if you are significantly in debt or have many assets to account for during the divorce mediation process. In some cases, it may be easy for you and your former partner to agree on an appropriate way to divide your financial assets and liabilities. If you are unable to reach a reasonable agreement on your own, it may take longer to resolve the economic aspects of your marriage and finalize your divorce. Can You Compromise? A willingness to negotiate is an essential element for successful mediation. This is especially true for divorce proceedings. If you and your former partner can put your personal feelings aside to find common ground and make decisions that are beneficial for both you and your children, you can often shorten the time needed to complete your divorce proceedings. This can help reduce the cost of your divorce and help you achieve the most practical solutions for everyone involved. If you and your former spouse can agree on specifics, you may be able to streamline the divorce process to a significant degree. Do You Still Have Conflict With Your Former Partner? If you have hurt feelings or anger towards your partner, it may be difficult to come to an agreement during the mediation process. Setting aside your emotions and working to resolve problems that arise during divorce mediation can help ensure the process goes as smoothly as possible. In most cases, the speed of mediated divorce proceedings is dependent on the ability of both partners to agree on the issues involved. It is important to remember that by working with a divorce mediator, you can increase your chance of a faster resolution, but only if you are willing to compromise.

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Five Ways to Reduce Stress Levels During the Divorce Process

Divorce can be painful and emotionally draining even when the proceedings are amicable. Finding ways to deal with the stress associated with the California divorce process can provide you with added emotional resources to draw on during this difficult time. Here are five tested strategies to help you navigate divorce in a healthy and stress free way. Get Some Exercise Exercising and staying fit can help you drain off some nervous energy and build strength. This added physical activity can also help to balance your hormonal levels to deal with the stress of your divorce and all the associated activities and responsibilities. By taking time out for fitness and health, you can even boost your immune system to reduce the risk of colds and other illnesses that could slow you down during this critical time of your life.   Catch Up on Sleep   Just as exercise helps you build strength and endurance, sleep is necessary to rest your mind and to provide you with greater emotional stability. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, adults require seven or more hours of sleep every night to enjoy the best possible health. More than one-third of adults report sleeping less than the recommended amount on a regular basis. By making sure that you get plenty of sleep, you can increase your ability to take on new challenges and to deal with the California divorce process more effectively every day.   Talk to a Friend Setting aside some time to share your emotional journey with your friends can ensure that you maintain valuable perspective on your situation. By seeking support from loyal and trusted family members and friends, you can feel less alone during your divorce proceedings. Lunches, get-togethers and movie nights can be good ways to boost your spirits and to help you maintain the most positive attitude on your current situation and your future prospects. Keep a Journal Writing down your thoughts, feelings and experiences during the California divorce process can also help you achieve a more positive perspective on these events and activities. By keeping a comprehensive written record, you may also be able to look back on these events and to share them with others who may be in a similar situation in the future.   Consider Collaborative Divorce If you and your former partner are still on reasonably amicable terms, a collaborative divorce arrangement might be the right solution for you. By working together to come to mutually beneficial agreements, you and your former spouse can often reduce the stress associated with divorce and can enjoy the greatest possible flexibility when dealing with issues related to child custody, division of assets and debts and living arrangements after the divorce is final. This can help each of you to move on in a more positive and practical way. Collaborative divorce is not for everyone. It is not recommended, for example, in cases where physical or emotional abuses have taken place. If you and your partner are on reasonably good terms and can discuss issues safely and rationally, you may be good candidates for this style of divorce in California.

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When Divorce May Be Your Best Option

Deciding to go ahead with divorce proceedings can evoke complex emotions. In some cases, however, divorce is the best possible solution for one or both parties. Here are some situations in which experts agree that divorce is usually the most appropriate and safest response for those involved. Physical Abuse If your spouse or partner has abused you or your children, removing yourself from the relationship can prevent further incidents that could cause serious injuries or even death. It is essential to take your children and yourself out of this unhealthy environment. Failing to act could leave you open to even more severe abuse. Organizations are available to provide protection for children and spouses who have suffered physical abuse at the hands of their partners. If looking for a local center in Fresno, California, reach out to the Marjaree Mason Center by calling their 24-Hour Crisis Hotline at (559) 233-HELP. It is important to remember that taking steps to stop the cycle of abuse now can lead to a happier future for you and those you love. Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse may be harder to identify. If your partner routinely makes comments intended to belittle or degrade you or your children, removing yourself and your children from that environment can help you maintain healthy self-esteem and can instill a sense of self-worth that can lead to a happier life in the future. If your children are often targeted for these abusive comments or attitudes, taking them out of this toxic environment and raising them in a more positive space can often help them to become healthy and well-balanced adults in the future. Repeated Infidelity While one isolated mistake may not be enough to break up a marriage, repeated incidents of infidelity can cause serious rifts between couples that could lead to hostility and unhappiness. This can create an unhealthy environment in which to raise children and a source of friction between the two parties involved. If you feel that your partner’s infidelity is unacceptable, filing for divorce can mark the beginning of a new start for both of you. Abuse of Drugs and Alcohol Drug and alcohol abuse can transform the person you married into a stranger. An occasional drink is not generally cause for concern. If your partner is drunk or under the influence of drugs on a regular basis and is unwilling to discuss or cut back on the use of these substances, a divorce may be the best answer for you. This is especially true if you have minor children or if your partner is involved in illegal activities because of his or her addiction or alcoholism. By separating yourself from these activities and the criminal element that may be associated with them, you can protect your own parental rights and avoid the risk involved in your partner’s actions.   If you find yourself in any of the situations listed above and are considering filing for divorce in California, contact the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess for legal help.

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How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation

Divorce can be a challenging and emotional time for you and your former spouse. Finding a divorce mediator you can trust is a good first step toward reducing stress and ensuring the most positive outcomes for your case. Here are some key steps to help you prepare for divorce mediation in the state of California. Commit to the Process Divorce mediation requires the willing participation of both parties to the divorce. Discussing this option with your former partner can help you determine whether these arrangements make sense in your case. In general, divorce mediation works best for couples who are on relatively good terms with each other and who are willing to hear the other party’s voice so that both parties can achieve their goals during this process. Collect Financial Records An important part of the mediation process is compiling a comprehensive list of debts, assets and incomes to determine the most equitable way to divide these elements of your current property. By providing a full and honest accounting of the financial equation, you can build a rapport and create trust that can help you navigate the entire mediation process more effectively. Be Prepared to Listen During the divorce mediation process, you will be asked to identify the most important issues to be addressed during these proceedings. Being willing to hear the other person’s concerns and acknowledge the value and importance of those concerns is the key to ensuring that your mediation goes smoothly and that you achieve your most important goals in your divorce. Consider the Welfare of Your Children One aspect of divorce mediation California couples cite as most beneficial is the ability to put the interests of your children first. By working together, you and your former spouse can come to enduring agreements on a number of different issues: Where your children will live Parenting plans Medical care and insurance arrangements Educational options Religious or spiritual upbringing Child support Who will claim your children as dependents If you opt for mediation over court proceedings for your divorce, you may be able to make adjustments to these arrangements without returning to the court to submit your request. This can streamline any changes and can help you maintain more control over the process during and after your divorce. Choose an Experienced Mediator Working with an experienced and qualified mediator can make a major difference in the quality of the results you achieve and the speed of the process. Your mediator should be responsive to your concerns and should have the right qualifications to perform these duties. Making sure that your mediator has the experience and expertise needed to handle your case can be critical to the success of your mediation process. Divorce mediation can be less expensive and more convenient than comparable court proceedings. By preparing effectively to work together with your former partner and to achieve mutually beneficial outcomes, you and your former spouse may be able to reduce the stress typically associated with the traditional divorce process.

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How to Resolve Your California Divorce Outside of Court

If you are currently considering divorce proceedings, opting for alternative dispute resolutions may provide significant benefits for you and your former partner. Choosing to work together to reach a resolution of the issues involved in your California divorce can reduce stress on all parties. How Mediation Can Help For those willing to set aside their grievances and work together to reach mutually beneficial solutions, divorce mediation services can assist in addressing issues in your separation and divorce, including the following: Child support Child custody, including living arrangements, health care, educational options and religious upbringingDivision of assets and debts Sale of shared property Spousal support By discussing these issues with an impartial mediator, you and your former partner can often come to workable agreements without hashing these problems out in court. This could potentially save you money and time in finalizing your divorce proceedings and getting on with your lives under your joint terms.   Collaborative Divorce Without Court Collaborative divorce proceedings also provide support for couples in the state of California. This process begins when each partner hires a collaborative attorney who then advises that party in connection with his or her concerns and interests. By providing a safe environment in which to share information, you and your spouse are given every opportunity to find workable solutions for your family. By opting for collaborative divorce without court, you can often enjoy the most amicable resolution for your separation and divorce proceedings while avoiding the tremendous emotional and financial cost of litigation.     The Advantages of Settling Divorce Out of Court Resolving your divorce amicably through mediation or collaborative divorce proceedings can provide significant benefits for you and your family. Some of the most important advantages of these processes include the following: Collaborative or mediated divorce proceedings can reduce stress for you and your former spouse and lead to an amicable relationship after the proceedings are complete. Your children do not experience the animosity and anger that can be exacerbated in litigated divorce. Instead, their lives are not disrupted and they can maintain a healthier attitude toward both parents. Opting for mediation or collaborative arrangements can often reduce the time needed to resolve your issues and finalize your divorce. The overall cost of collaborative divorce or mediated proceedings can be less than the cost of fighting it out in court. Arrangements that are agreed upon in mediation or collaboration can usually be altered to suit changing needs without applying to the court. This can make a big difference in the amount of paperwork and inconvenience involved in making changes to the provisions of your divorce. By opting for divorce without court, you and your former spouse can enjoy these benefits and can finalize your California divorce in the most practical and stress-free way possible. If looking for legal assistance with your divorce proceeding in or around Fresno, California, contact us at Kezirian Law, P.C. It is our vision to promote, preserve or restore healthy family relationships during challenging legal transitions.

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How to Help Children Cope With Divorce

The divorce process can be stressful and challenging even for adults. For children, the uncertainty and worry involved in these proceedings can be even worse. Finding ways to help your children positively deal with their feelings can help them cope with this process more easily. Here are some proven ways to help your children adjust to life during and after your divorce. Keep Hostility and Negativity Away From the Children If you and your former spouse are still at odds during and after your divorce, do your best to keep your anger and conflict away from your children. Try to stay positive in both your attitude and your comments about the other parent. This can provide children with a much-needed sense of calm and balance during your divorce proceedings. Be as Honest as Possible Sharing every detail of your relationship or your divorce with your children is not recommended. Letting them know in general terms why you and your partner are divorcing and explaining the general plan for living arrangements, visitation and custody can often help to put your children at ease during this difficult time. By practicing honesty and openness, you can ensure that your children feel included and loved during the process of divorce. Strive for Normalcy If you can manage it, allowing your children to continue to live in the same home and to attend the same schools can provide them with an added sense of security while your divorce proceedings are being finalized. If you must move for financial reasons, explain the situation honestly. Older children may even be given a voice regarding the new living arrangements to help them feel more in control of the situation. Be Ready for Questions Your children are likely to have many questions about their future living arrangements, schooling and the relationship they will have with each of their parents. Think about the answers to these questions before sitting down to have the big talk. This can allow you to appear more confident and positive throughout your discussions with your children. In many cases, your kids will look to you to determine how to react. Staying calm and answering their questions honestly can go a long way toward ensuring that your children maintain their trust in you during your divorce. Practice Flexibility Adjusting to your divorce can be stressful for both you and your partner. Try to accommodate changes in visitation pick-up and drop-off times whenever possible. This can help your partner manage these responsibilities during the critical transitional period during and just after your divorce. Additionally, by showing empathy and flexibility to your former spouse, you can often create a better rapport that can help you work together as parents more effectively in the future.   These tips on how to help children cope with divorce can provide you with added confidence when dealing with the emotional aspects of this process. By taking your child’s unique personality into account and tailoring your approach to their needs, you can navigate the divorce process more effectively on their behalf.

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