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Making Joint Custody Work After a Divorce

Child Custody /

In the state of California, joint legal custody is defined as shared responsibility for the welfare of children and the decisions made on their behalf after a divorce. Physical custody may be shared equally in these arrangements or may be managed by one parent with visitation for the other parent. If you are considering joint custody in California, here are six helpful tips for making it work for you and your family.   Put the Kids First It may be tempting to rehash arguments and bring up issues involved in your divorce with your former partner. Avoiding these points of contention and focusing on the needs of your children can allow you to build a more amicable relationship. This can allow you to work together more easily and come to necessary compromises when deciding on matters related to education, religion, health care and other elements of your child’s life.   Leave Some Room for Flexibility Creating ironclad rules about visitation, pick-up times and vacations can lead to trouble when issues arise that require changes to these arrangements. By allowing some wiggle room and permitting some alterations to schedules, you can ensure that your children enjoy time with both parents while building a cordial relationship with your former spouse.       Work on Your Communication Skills Finding the most practical and convenient ways to contact your former partner regarding school issues, scheduling and other matters related to your children can help you manage your time more effectively. Email, texting and shared calendars are among the most common and easy-to-use technologies. By incorporating these communication tools into your daily routines, you can touch base with your former spouse and your children regarding any changes to your schedule or upcoming events.   Present a United Front Even if you are still at odds with your former partner, making sure you are on the same page regarding extracurricular activities, discipline and educational options can allow you to support each other when discussing these matters with your children. This approach can help you to avoid situations in which your child may attempt to play one parent against the other to achieve his or her goals.     Accept Input from Your Children In many cases, your children may have their own ideas and requests about the custody arrangements made on their behalf. Incorporating their suggestions into your arrangement for joint custody in California can often allow things to go more smoothly for everyone involved and can help your children to feel heard and understood during this transitional period.   Move on From Mistakes As parents, both you and your former partner will sometimes make mistakes. Taking steps to fix these errors without assigning blame can help you maintain a working relationship with the other parent in the equation. By being tolerant and forgiving of the mistakes of others, you can also set an excellent example for your children in the right way to treat others even after a romantic relationship has ended.   These six strategies can allow you to build a solid foundation for your children and to manage the legal and emotional complexities of joint custody in California.

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How to Raise a Healthy Child After a Divorce

Child Custody /

Making sure that your child is emotionally healthy during and after your divorce can give them the best possible start later in life. While some stress may be natural during the divorce process, you can take some steps to lessen the impact on your child. Here are some helpful hints to ease the transition and to provide support when dealing with children and divorce. Be Honest While not every detail of your divorce should be shared with your children, being as open and honest as possible can help your children feel more confident about the process. By keeping your children in the loop about the progress of your divorce and future plans, you can provide them with added confidence and security during this difficult process.       Avoid Negativity Maintaining a positive attitude can sometimes be difficult for divorcing parents, but it is important to overcome issues for the greater good of both you and your children. Making an effort to stay focused on happier subjects can produce a more peaceful environment at home. It is important to remember that your cheerful attitude can rub off on your children and can help them look forward to the future with a more optimistic perspective.     Minimize Disruptions After your divorce, you may need to change your living arrangements. If possible, try and delay these big changes until after the end of the school year. Finding a way to help your child maintain normalcy during and after your divorce can pay off in improved academic performance and increased comfort levels for your children.   Make Time to Play Setting aside some time for family fun can help children maintain a sunny outlook even during a difficult divorce. Kids need something to look forward to and a chance to expend some of their abundant energy in active play. By making sure that your children enjoy opportunities to express themselves creatively in a relaxed and enjoyable environment, you can reduce the stress associated with children and divorce.     Share Parenting Duties It may not always be possible to share parenting responsibilities with your former spouse, especially if abuse or drug use were factors in your divorce. If you and your former partner have remained on relatively good terms, you should share in the everyday duties of parenting to reduce the pressure on both of you.         Be Prepared for Tears Even the most amicable divorces can be hard for children to accept and understand. Taking tears and tantrums in stride can allow younger children to feel more confident that they are still loved. Older children may have a lot of questions about the future. By listening to them and responding as completely and truthfully as possible, you may be able to alleviate some of their fears about the divorce process.       Enlist Some Help Alerting school counselors and teachers to your situation can sometimes expand the safety net for children. Unless abuse or risk to your child is involved, you usually do not need to share details about your divorce proceedings with these educational professionals. Providing them with a heads-up that your child may be under additional stress is usually enough to achieve the results you need. By staying calm and positive throughout the process, you can support your children during and after your divorce. This can help your family weather this temporary storm and achieve the best possible outcomes when dealing with children and divorce.

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How to Break the News About Divorce to your School-aged Child

Divorce Advice /

  There is no one right way to deal with issues relating to divorce and children. Depending on the age of your children, the problems that led to your breakup and the current relationship between you and your former partner, you may be able to discuss the situation and defuse worries that your children may have about potential changes in their lives. Here are some of the most useful strategies for breaking the news of your divorce to your children. Keep Things Simple for Younger Children Children in elementary school may need less time for explanations and discussions and may take longer to understand the concept of divorce. Keeping your explanations practical and straightforward can often provide these children with the best explanation. It is also helpful to remind children that both parents love them and that they will be cared for during and after the divorce is final.       Set Aside Enough Time for Older Children Older children are likely to have strong reactions to the news. Allowing enough time for them to express their feelings and to ask any questions they may have can help you deal with the issues they are feeling towards the divorce.       Present a United Front If possible, invite your former spouse or partner to break the news to your children with you. By planning a joint meeting that includes all members of the family unit, you can avoid blame issues and ensure that all children hear the news about the divorce at the same time. This can help you prevent miscommunications that could cause problems down the line.     Keep Things Positive Fear of abandonment and worry about the future are two of the most prominent issues associated with children and divorce. Making a real effort to present the divorce in a positive way can help your kids feel more hopeful and optimistic about the upcoming changes in their lives.     Offer Practical Information Focusing on how the divorce will affect your children in both the short and long term can provide them with an added sense of security and confidence. Most kids will ask practical questions that may include some or all of the following:   Will I be able to attend the same school? Who will I stay with and where will I live? Will I be able to visit the other parent? Can I still go to summer camp? Will I still see both parents? Will I have two houses and two bedrooms? You may also be asked why you and your partner are splitting up and if you still love each other. Be as honest as possible when answering these questions. Keeping your focus on practical questions, however, can be more useful when addressing issues related to divorce and children. Divorce is rarely an easy process. Taking time out to break the news gently to your children can prepare them for upcoming changes and can ensure the most comfortable transition during this stressful time. By implementing these helpful hints, you can ensure that your children are as confident and optimistic as possible during and after your divorce.  

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Important Facts You Need To Know About Child Support

Child Support /

Child support payments are intended to help parents share the costs of raising their children after a divorce. Understanding the various factors that go into child support in California can provide you with added help in achieving the right arrangements for your children and your finances. Here are some facts you should know about child support in our state. No Limit on Child Support California does not impose any upper limits on the amount of child support that can be ordered. Instead, child support in California is usually calculated using a guideline that considers the following factors: Income levels for both parents Time spent with each parent Number of children Tax-deductible expenses and tax filing status Existing child support and spousal support payments made Spousal support received In some instances, the courts may deviate somewhat from the child support calculations of the guideline. This is determined on a case-by-case basis. Child support amounts for amounts less than the California guideline recommendations may be subject to increases; those at or above the recommended amount are less likely to be changed by the courts. Determining Income Gross income can be calculated by adding up all sources of monetary support from employment, commissions, benefits, gambling and lottery winnings, dividends and interest and profits from business operations. Money received as public assistance or paid out in child support or alimony, however, can usually be excluded from the calculations used to determine child support in California.         Health Care, Child Care and Tuition Certain expenses may be shared equally between parents regardless of the child support awarded by the court. These can include costs for health care, child care and tuition for educational programs. Depending on the financial resources and the court’s assessment, one or both parents may be held responsible for the costs of these necessities. Imputed Income Can Be Used to Figure Child Support If the court believes that one parent is deliberately remaining unemployed or underemployed to avoid paying child support, it may use imputed income to determine the amount of child support that parent should be paying. Imputed income is the amount that the court decides the individual could earn based on his or her educational level, job skills and employment history. This practice is intended to prevent parents from avoiding their responsibilities to provide support for their minor children. Child Support Orders Can Be Modified If one parent loses a job or if changes have been made in the amount of time spent with each parent, it may be possible to modify the court-ordered child support temporarily or on a permanent basis. This can be easier if the amount of child support ordered by the court is less than the recommended amount under California guidelines. Changes in employment, income levels, legal status and family size can be used as the basis for a request in the child support order. The current financial situations of both parents will be taken into consideration by the courts to determine whether a modification is justified and practical for all parties involved. Working with an attorney from the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess who specializes in family law in the state of California can provide added support for parents dealing with child support issues. These dedicated legal professionals can provide the right options for your family and can help you move forward after a divorce.

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How Can Domestic Violence Affect Your Children?

Child Custody, Mediation /

Witnessing domestic violence can be confusing and frightening for children. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, exposure to domestic violence can cause developmental delays and can damage the emotional, cognitive and social abilities of children and adolescents. Children who witness episodes of violence in the home may be more prone to bedwetting, behavioral issues and substance abuse. This can have a serious impact on their ability to lead happy and healthy lives in the future. Taking steps to protect your children from these events can be a positive step toward a brighter future for yourself and your family. Protecting Children from Domestic Violence The California court system provides a framework that can help you protect your children from the damaging effects of domestic violence. Retaining the services of a divorce lawyer in California can provide you with expert guidance on filing for and enforcing restraining orders that can prevent your partner from causing further harm to you or your children. Filing a restraining order is usually a good first step toward ending the cycle of domestic violence. Child Custody and Domestic Violence Allegations of domestic abuse can have a serious impact on the outcome of your divorce case. In most cases, a judge cannot award joint or sole custody to a parent who has been convicted of domestic violence or has been adjudicated by the courts as having committed domestic violence during the last five years. Visitation may still be allowed by the courts. Parents who have committed domestic abuse may be allowed custody of their children if they can demonstrate that this would be in the best interest of the children and if certain other criteria have been satisfied: Completion of a year-long batterer intervention program Adherence to the rules of probation, parole or restraining orders, if applicable No further domestic violence Completion of all court-ordered counseling and education plans Retaining the professional services of an experienced divorce lawyer in California can provide added help in protecting children from domestic violence and ensuring the safest environment for the youngest members of your family. Mediation Services for Child Custody If domestic abuse or violence is a factor in your divorce proceedings, you may be required to go to custody mediation or counseling to determine the best arrangement for your children. In some cases, this may present serious concerns about safety on the part of the target of previous domestic violence. If you have a restraining order against your partner, you can usually arrange to meet with the mediator separately to ensure greater safety. Working with a qualified divorce lawyer in California can also provide you with added information on the options available to you when creating a parenting plan for yourself, your former spouse and your children.   Exposure to domestic violence can be extremely harmful to children. By taking steps to remove yourself and your children from the abuser and working toward a safe and secure resolution, you can mitigate some of the problems experienced by children who grow up in these situations. This can allow you to provide a healthier environment for yourself and the children in your care.

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How Does an Uncontested Divorce Work?

Divorce Advice /

The state of California offers an established process for uncontested divorces that can sometimes streamline these legal proceedings. Working with a qualified divorce attorney can provide added help and guidance when managing the complexities of this legal process. Understanding how uncontested divorce in California works can help you make the right moves for yourself and your family during this challenging time. Reaching Mutually Acceptable Terms One of the first steps in the uncontested divorce process should be to sit down with your former partner to discuss finances, child support, child custody arrangements and other issues. If you can find a way to reach a mutually beneficial agreement on these matters, you can often reduce the amount of time you spend in court. An experienced divorce attorney can often provide you with the guidance needed to deal with the issues associated with an uncontested divorce in California. Creating a Workable Plan Once you have reached an agreement about child custody, visitation, support, division of assets and debts, you will have a head start on dealing with the important issues involved in the divorce process. Your California divorce attorney can help you manage the paperwork required to file for divorce, allowing you to be sure that your documents are submitted on time to streamline your uncontested divorce proceedings. Completing Financial Disclosure Forms During the process, you will need to submit a number of financial disclosure forms to your former spouse. A comprehensive listing of your debts, assets, income and tax returns for the past two years will be required as part of this documentation. Your attorney can typically help you complete these forms and can review the forms submitted by your ex-spouse. Making sure the information provided is complete and accurate can help you build trust with your former partner during the divorce proceedings and can prevent any issues from arising later that could affect your legal standing with the California court system. Making Child Support and Custody Arrangements Regardless of whether you can reach an agreement about the primary or joint custody of your children and the amount of child support to be paid, the court will need to evaluate these arrangements to ensure that they are in the best interests of your children and that they are acceptable from a legal standpoint. Once again, working with a lawyer who specializes in uncontested divorce in California can help you create a plan acceptable to you, your former spouse, your children and the court system. Finalizing Your Uncontested Divorce After all forms have been completed and submitted to the court, this documentation will be reviewed for accuracy, completeness and correct format. When this process has concluded, you will either be given a date to appear in court or will receive a Judgment and Notice of Entry of Judgment in the mail. A court appearance is usually only necessary if you have not completed and submitted all required forms correctly.   Working with an established and reputable family law firm can provide the support and legal expertise you need to ensure that your divorce is finalized quickly and in a mutually beneficial way. This can allow you to put the past behind you and to get the best possible start on your brand-new life.

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Enforcing California Divorce Agreements: Five Things You Need to Know

Divorce Agreements /

After your divorce in California, you may experience difficulties if your former spouse fails to live up to his or her obligations under the divorce agreement. This can sometimes lead to financial problems and may cause you stress that can affect your health and your attitude. Working with a qualified California divorce attorney can be an excellent first step towards enforcing the terms of your agreements. Here are five strategies to consider when taking steps to make sure your former spouse complies with all provisions of your divorce agreement. Does Your Former Spouse Have the Means to Comply? Child support and spousal support obligations are dependent on the ability of your former spouse to pay them. If he or she is unemployed or experiences serious financial difficulties, there may be no reasonable way for them to pay the amounts you are owed. In some cases, you may be able to touch base with your former partner to determine whether he or she is currently dealing with money problems. This can save you time and money when determining whether to pursue further action to force compliance with your divorce agreement.       Check Your Paperwork Your divorce documents may include specific remedies for non-compliance with the terms of your divorce in California. Working with a qualified family law attorney can help you determine the right approach to enforcement of the terms of your divorce and can provide you with the legal support needed to make sure your former spouse complies with all terms ordered by the court.   Determine if Third-Party Interference Is to Blame In some cases, your ex-spouse may not be responsible for failing to pay child support and spousal support in the approved manner. If the funds are not withheld by the employer, you may need to pursue legal action against this company or entity to force them to comply with the court-ordered instructions for garnishment or withholding of wages in your divorce agreement. Working with a lawyer who specializes in divorce in California can help you to take the right steps to obtain the financial support to which you are legally entitled.   Be Persistent Regardless of the approach you choose, persistence is the key to success in making sure your former spouse complies with the terms of your divorce. Working with a knowledgeable and experienced family law attorney can help you with this process and can provide you with the tools you need to ensure that you receive the payments to which you are entitled and that all provisions of your divorce agreement are being followed. Filing for Contempt of Court If all else fails, you may be able to file a contempt of court order with the California court system to compel your former spouse to comply with the provisions of your divorce agreement. This is usually a criminal proceeding that alleges that the accused has knowingly and willfully violated a valid court order. Failure to pay child support or spousal support can result in contempt of court rulings. Violation of domestic violence restraining orders can also be considered contempt of court and could lead to punitive action on the part of the state of California. If you need professional help enforcing the terms of your California divorce, working with an experienced and knowledgeable attorney like Julia Ann Brungess can provide you with the guidance and support you need to accomplish your objective. This can help you enjoy greater financial stability and improved personal security as you build your new life after your divorce.

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Your Teenagers and Divorce – How Much to Say to Them

Divorce Advice /

Navigating the divorce process can be challenging. For parents of school-aged children, finding a way to break the news to these members of your family can make it even tougher. Teenagers can be especially vulnerable to major life changes and for this reason, may have a severe emotional reaction to the news of your upcoming divorce. Here are some proven strategies that could help you deal with teenagers and divorce more easily. Present a United Front Despite you and your former spouse possibly being at odds, talking to your teen together about your plans for divorce can sometimes provide added peace of mind during this challenging time. By setting aside your differences and working together to provide your child with the support he or she needs, you can reduce anxiety and stress that could lead to difficulties at school or emotional upsets at home. Don’t Try to Hide the Truth Even the most amicable divorce can send shock waves through your family. Letting your teen know as soon as you and your former partner have come to a decision can help you avoid accusations of secrecy from your teen. By letting your children know early in the process, you can also avoid confusion that may arise from changes in your lifestyle and living arrangements. Giving your teens general information about the process can sometimes provide them with greater confidence and peace of mind. Don’t Say Too Much When dealing with teenagers and divorce, it is a good idea to leave out some of the more personal details of your relationship when talking about the planned separation. In most cases, your child will not need to know the specific reasons for your divorce; this is especially true if sex or infidelity are involved in your decision. Making a sincere effort to stay positive when speaking about your ex-spouse can reduce the negative impact of divorce in many cases and may create open lines of communication between you and your teen aged child.   Maintain Your Regular Routines While you may experience some disruption to your regular schedule because of your pending divorce, making sure your teen gets to school on time and continues with his or her normal routine can reduce the negative effects of this difficult time. Younger teens may attempt to act out or test existing limits. Staying firm but fair can be an effective way to establish that, while your marriage may be ending, your role as a parent remains unchanged. By establishing and maintaining limits, you can usually reduce the risk of major meltdowns. Remain Watchful Teenagers can be very vulnerable to depression and other emotional upsets. Keeping a close eye on their moods and activities can allow you to protect your teens from their reactions to your divorce plans. If your teen does become depressed, seeking professional counseling can help by providing them with a valuable outlet for expressing their hurt feelings and disappointment. The odds are good that both you and your teenagers will navigate your divorce safely. By taking a little extra care in telling your teens about your divorce and by keeping a careful eye on their reactions, you can set the stage for a less stressful process for everyone involved.

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Seven Tips for Dealing with Divorce During the Holidays

Divorce Advice /

The holidays can be a difficult time for divorcing couples. Managing family expectations, travel plans and shared responsibilities for children can take their toll at this time of the year. Here are seven proven strategies for dealing with divorce during the holiday season in the state of California. Plan Ahead If you and your former spouse share custody of minor children, making sure that everyone is aware of the schedule well in advance can help you to avoid problems when the holidays arrive. Touching base with your former spouse and checking with your children can be a good way to ensure that the schedule is fully understood and accepted by all parties to these arrangements.         Soak Up the Sun Making sure to spend some time outdoors every day can help you avoid seasonal affective disorder, a condition that sometimes is associated with lack of exposure to sunlight during the cooler winter months. Depending on where you live in California, taking a brisk walk outside or spending time at the beach can help you avoid depression during and after your divorce. Be Flexible Despite your best intentions, sometimes problems may arise with scheduling and other aspects of the holiday season. Making an effort to take these eventualities in stride can help you to maintain a happier attitude when dealing with divorce. Staying positive even when dealing with issues with your former spouse can also allow you to enjoy a more harmonious relationship after your marriage is over. Treat Yourself Well Taking a little time out to enjoy the season can make a real impact on your overall attitude during this part of the year. Dining out, taking in a movie or just window shopping can be part of your holiday routine and can reduce the natural stress you may be feeling during the divorce process.       Create New Traditions If some of the things you once shared with your former partner are evoking painful memories, making a real effort to create new rituals and traditions associated with the holidays can help this time of the year feel more like a new beginning. This can help you to begin your new life with a more positive attitude. Build a Network Family members and friends can provide you with added support in dealing with negative emotions during your divorce and in the immediate aftermath. The holidays are traditionally a time to share with those closest to you. Joining in the fun with your family and your best friends can help you get into the holiday spirit during this joyous season. Manage Your Expectations It is perfectly normal to feel a little sad when dealing with divorce. This is especially true for couples who have just begun the process during the lead-up to the holiday season. Allowing yourself the leeway to feel and express these emotions can be a healthy way to manage your expectations of yourself and others during this time. By choosing an attorney with proven experience in California divorce law, like those from the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess,  you can enjoy greater peace of mind. This can help you enjoy the holiday season to the fullest this year and for years into the future.

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Five Reasons Collaborative Divorce May Be Your Best Option

Collaborative Divorce /

If you are currently considering your divorce options in the state of California, collaborative divorce may be a good solution for you and your former spouse. These arrangements are ideal for couples who are still on relatively good terms and who wish to streamline the divorce process. Here are five reasons to consider collaborative arrangements when planning to divorce in California. Better for the Children If you and your former partner have minor children, choosing collaboration rather than an adversarial approach can help you provide a more stable and emotionally supportive environment for the younger members of your family. By modeling friendly and cooperative behavior in front of your children, you can provide them with a good example while ensuring that they feel loved and protected throughout the divorce process.       Better for Your Emotional Health Discussing matters calmly with the help of a trained collaborative professional can provide you with added peace of mind during divorce proceedings. Rather than battling it out in court, you can engage in peaceful discussions about finances, child custody, division of assets and other matters related to the dissolution of your marriage. This can help you to stay calm and more focused on other matters throughout your divorce negotiations and can create an environment more conducive to compromise for you and your former spouse.     Better for Your Privacy Litigated divorce proceedings are matters of public record and may be available for anyone to view. By contrast, collaborative divorce arrangements can be kept private to allow you and your family a much-needed sense of security during this stressful time. By working together to determine the best ways for you and your former partner to proceed, you can keep your confidential information private and away from the prying eyes of the public.               Better for Your Finances In some cases, collaborative arrangements can be less expensive than drawn-out courtroom proceedings. This can allow you to pick up the pieces more easily and to achieve a greater degree of control over the financial expenses involved in your divorce. Depending on the type of services needed, you and your former spouse could share the services of property appraisers, brokers and other professionals needed to complete the division of assets and the determination of child custody.       Better for the Future In the state of California, collaborative divorce agreements are reached without the need for the court to decide on the details of these legal arrangements. This can also allow you to make ongoing changes to these agreements without court approval. If you and your former spouse can agree on alterations to the terms reached for child custody, visitation, financial support and residence issues, you can make these changes by merely contacting your legal team. This can provide much-needed flexibility, especially for parents sharing the responsibility for minor children after a divorce.     Collaborative divorce can be a cost-effective and practical solution for you and your former partner. By considering these innovative ways to resolve your marital status, you and your former spouse can enjoy the benefits of a more amicable and cooperative relationship as you begin your new lives apart.   If you are interested in pursuing a collaborative divorce in or around Fresno, California, contact the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess.

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