Divorce Advice

The divorce process can be stressful and challenging even for adults. For children, the uncertainty and worry involved in these proceedings can be even worse. Finding ways to help your children positively deal with their feelings can help them cope with this process more easily. Here are some proven ways to help your children adjust to life during and after your divorce. Keep Hostility and Negativity Away From the Children If you and your former spouse are still at odds during and after your divorce, do your best to keep your anger and conflict away from your children. Try to stay positive in both your attitude and your comments about the other parent. This can provide children with a much-needed sense of calm and balance during your divorce proceedings. Be as Honest as Possible Sharing every detail of your relationship or your divorce with your children is not recommended. Letting them know in general terms why you and your partner are divorcing and explaining the general plan for living arrangements, visitation and custody can often help to put your children at ease during this difficult time. By practicing honesty and openness, you can ensure that your children feel included and loved during the process of divorce. Strive for Normalcy If you can manage it, allowing your children to continue to live in the same home and to attend the same schools can provide them with an added sense of security while your divorce proceedings are being finalized. If you must move for financial reasons, explain the situation honestly. Older children may even be given a voice regarding the new living arrangements to help them feel more in control of the situation. Be Ready for Questions Your children are likely to have many questions about their future living arrangements, schooling and the relationship they will have with each of their parents. Think about the answers to these questions before sitting down to have the big talk. This can allow you to appear more confident and positive throughout your discussions with your children. In many cases, your kids will look to you to determine how to react. Staying calm and answering their questions honestly can go a long way toward ensuring that your children maintain their trust in you during your divorce. Practice Flexibility Adjusting to your divorce can be stressful for both you and your partner. Try to accommodate changes in visitation pick-up and drop-off times whenever possible. This can help your partner manage these responsibilities during the critical transitional period during and just after your divorce. Additionally, by showing empathy and flexibility to your former spouse, you can often create a better rapport that can help you work together as parents more effectively in the future.   These tips on how to help children cope with divorce can provide you with added confidence when dealing with the emotional aspects of this process. By taking your child’s unique personality into account and tailoring your approach to their needs, you can navigate the divorce process more effectively on their behalf.

  There is no one right way to deal with issues relating to divorce and children. Depending on the age of your children, the problems that led to your breakup and the current relationship between you and your former partner, you may be able to discuss the situation and defuse worries that your children may have about potential changes in their lives. Here are some of the most useful strategies for breaking the news of your divorce to your children. Keep Things Simple for Younger Children Children in elementary school may need less time for explanations and discussions and may take longer to understand the concept of divorce. Keeping your explanations practical and straightforward can often provide these children with the best explanation. It is also helpful to remind children that both parents love them and that they will be cared for during and after the divorce is final.       Set Aside Enough Time for Older Children Older children are likely to have strong reactions to the news. Allowing enough time for them to express their feelings and to ask any questions they may have can help you deal with the issues they are feeling towards the divorce.       Present a United Front If possible, invite your former spouse or partner to break the news to your children with you. By planning a joint meeting that includes all members of the family unit, you can avoid blame issues and ensure that all children hear the news about the divorce at the same time. This can help you prevent miscommunications that could cause problems down the line.     Keep Things Positive Fear of abandonment and worry about the future are two of the most prominent issues associated with children and divorce. Making a real effort to present the divorce in a positive way can help your kids feel more hopeful and optimistic about the upcoming changes in their lives.     Offer Practical Information Focusing on how the divorce will affect your children in both the short and long term can provide them with an added sense of security and confidence. Most kids will ask practical questions that may include some or all of the following:   Will I be able to attend the same school? Who will I stay with and where will I live? Will I be able to visit the other parent? Can I still go to summer camp? Will I still see both parents? Will I have two houses and two bedrooms? You may also be asked why you and your partner are splitting up and if you still love each other. Be as honest as possible when answering these questions. Keeping your focus on practical questions, however, can be more useful when addressing issues related to divorce and children. Divorce is rarely an easy process. Taking time out to break the news gently to your children can prepare them for upcoming changes and can ensure the most comfortable transition during this stressful time. By implementing these helpful hints, you can ensure that your children are as confident and optimistic as possible during and after your divorce.  

The state of California offers an established process for uncontested divorces that can sometimes streamline these legal proceedings. Working with a qualified divorce attorney can provide added help and guidance when managing the complexities of this legal process. Understanding how uncontested divorce in California works can help you make the right moves for yourself and your family during this challenging time. Reaching Mutually Acceptable Terms One of the first steps in the uncontested divorce process should be to sit down with your former partner to discuss finances, child support, child custody arrangements and other issues. If you can find a way to reach a mutually beneficial agreement on these matters, you can often reduce the amount of time you spend in court. An experienced divorce attorney can often provide you with the guidance needed to deal with the issues associated with an uncontested divorce in California. Creating a Workable Plan Once you have reached an agreement about child custody, visitation, support, division of assets and debts, you will have a head start on dealing with the important issues involved in the divorce process. Your California divorce attorney can help you manage the paperwork required to file for divorce, allowing you to be sure that your documents are submitted on time to streamline your uncontested divorce proceedings. Completing Financial Disclosure Forms During the process, you will need to submit a number of financial disclosure forms to your former spouse. A comprehensive listing of your debts, assets, income and tax returns for the past two years will be required as part of this documentation. Your attorney can typically help you complete these forms and can review the forms submitted by your ex-spouse. Making sure the information provided is complete and accurate can help you build trust with your former partner during the divorce proceedings and can prevent any issues from arising later that could affect your legal standing with the California court system. Making Child Support and Custody Arrangements Regardless of whether you can reach an agreement about the primary or joint custody of your children and the amount of child support to be paid, the court will need to evaluate these arrangements to ensure that they are in the best interests of your children and that they are acceptable from a legal standpoint. Once again, working with a lawyer who specializes in uncontested divorce in California can help you create a plan acceptable to you, your former spouse, your children and the court system. Finalizing Your Uncontested Divorce After all forms have been completed and submitted to the court, this documentation will be reviewed for accuracy, completeness and correct format. When this process has concluded, you will either be given a date to appear in court or will receive a Judgment and Notice of Entry of Judgment in the mail. A court appearance is usually only necessary if you have not completed and submitted all required forms correctly.   Working with an established and reputable family law firm can provide the support and legal expertise you need to ensure that your divorce is finalized quickly and in a mutually beneficial way. This can allow you to put the past behind you and to get the best possible start on your brand-new life.

Navigating the divorce process can be challenging. For parents of school-aged children, finding a way to break the news to these members of your family can make it even tougher. Teenagers can be especially vulnerable to major life changes and for this reason, may have a severe emotional reaction to the news of your upcoming divorce. Here are some proven strategies that could help you deal with teenagers and divorce more easily. Present a United Front Despite you and your former spouse possibly being at odds, talking to your teen together about your plans for divorce can sometimes provide added peace of mind during this challenging time. By setting aside your differences and working together to provide your child with the support he or she needs, you can reduce anxiety and stress that could lead to difficulties at school or emotional upsets at home. Don’t Try to Hide the Truth Even the most amicable divorce can send shock waves through your family. Letting your teen know as soon as you and your former partner have come to a decision can help you avoid accusations of secrecy from your teen. By letting your children know early in the process, you can also avoid confusion that may arise from changes in your lifestyle and living arrangements. Giving your teens general information about the process can sometimes provide them with greater confidence and peace of mind. Don’t Say Too Much When dealing with teenagers and divorce, it is a good idea to leave out some of the more personal details of your relationship when talking about the planned separation. In most cases, your child will not need to know the specific reasons for your divorce; this is especially true if sex or infidelity are involved in your decision. Making a sincere effort to stay positive when speaking about your ex-spouse can reduce the negative impact of divorce in many cases and may create open lines of communication between you and your teen aged child.   Maintain Your Regular Routines While you may experience some disruption to your regular schedule because of your pending divorce, making sure your teen gets to school on time and continues with his or her normal routine can reduce the negative effects of this difficult time. Younger teens may attempt to act out or test existing limits. Staying firm but fair can be an effective way to establish that, while your marriage may be ending, your role as a parent remains unchanged. By establishing and maintaining limits, you can usually reduce the risk of major meltdowns. Remain Watchful Teenagers can be very vulnerable to depression and other emotional upsets. Keeping a close eye on their moods and activities can allow you to protect your teens from their reactions to your divorce plans. If your teen does become depressed, seeking professional counseling can help by providing them with a valuable outlet for expressing their hurt feelings and disappointment. The odds are good that both you and your teenagers will navigate your divorce safely. By taking a little extra care in telling your teens about your divorce and by keeping a careful eye on their reactions, you can set the stage for a less stressful process for everyone involved.

The holidays can be a difficult time for divorcing couples. Managing family expectations, travel plans and shared responsibilities for children can take their toll at this time of the year. Here are seven proven strategies for dealing with divorce during the holiday season in the state of California. Plan Ahead If you and your former spouse share custody of minor children, making sure that everyone is aware of the schedule well in advance can help you to avoid problems when the holidays arrive. Touching base with your former spouse and checking with your children can be a good way to ensure that the schedule is fully understood and accepted by all parties to these arrangements.         Soak Up the Sun Making sure to spend some time outdoors every day can help you avoid seasonal affective disorder, a condition that sometimes is associated with lack of exposure to sunlight during the cooler winter months. Depending on where you live in California, taking a brisk walk outside or spending time at the beach can help you avoid depression during and after your divorce. Be Flexible Despite your best intentions, sometimes problems may arise with scheduling and other aspects of the holiday season. Making an effort to take these eventualities in stride can help you to maintain a happier attitude when dealing with divorce. Staying positive even when dealing with issues with your former spouse can also allow you to enjoy a more harmonious relationship after your marriage is over. Treat Yourself Well Taking a little time out to enjoy the season can make a real impact on your overall attitude during this part of the year. Dining out, taking in a movie or just window shopping can be part of your holiday routine and can reduce the natural stress you may be feeling during the divorce process.       Create New Traditions If some of the things you once shared with your former partner are evoking painful memories, making a real effort to create new rituals and traditions associated with the holidays can help this time of the year feel more like a new beginning. This can help you to begin your new life with a more positive attitude. Build a Network Family members and friends can provide you with added support in dealing with negative emotions during your divorce and in the immediate aftermath. The holidays are traditionally a time to share with those closest to you. Joining in the fun with your family and your best friends can help you get into the holiday spirit during this joyous season. Manage Your Expectations It is perfectly normal to feel a little sad when dealing with divorce. This is especially true for couples who have just begun the process during the lead-up to the holiday season. Allowing yourself the leeway to feel and express these emotions can be a healthy way to manage your expectations of yourself and others during this time. By choosing an attorney with proven experience in California divorce law, like those from the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess,  you can enjoy greater peace of mind. This can help you enjoy the holiday season to the fullest this year and for years into the future.

Finding an amicable way to manage your divorce proceedings can sometimes save you time and money during the divorce process. Working with your former partner to devise a mutually beneficial and equitable divorce arrangement can be the most practical and cost-effective solution for all parties. Children of the marriage can also benefit significantly from when there is a friendly relationship between their parents. Here are some essential elements of a successful collaborative divorce arrangement. Patience Being patient and willing to take the time to reach resolutions can help improve the relationship between you and your former partner because everyone works together to come to decisions. By investing your time and making a genuine effort to see things from your spouse’s perspective, you can come to fair agreements on financial matters and other issues related to the dissolution of your marriage. Hard Work Finding the best solutions for your divorce can be physically and emotionally draining. Working with a law firm that specializes in collaborative arrangements like the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess can help you manage the process more efficiently and can ensure that both you and your partner are fairly represented during divorce proceedings. Honesty Being open and straightforward about your assets, debts and financial situation is necessary during collaborative divorce proceedings. Some attorneys will refuse to represent clients if they determine that they have not been entirely honest about their situations during discussions related to collaborative arrangements. By providing accurate information, you can be sure that the decisions made during your discussions will allow both you and your former partner to move on successfully. A Willingness to Cooperate Hurt feelings and anger can be significant barriers when trying to reach collaborative agreements regarding your divorce. If you cannot put aside these feelings to work together on the issues that must be resolved, you may not be a good candidate for a collaborative form of divorce. In most cases, however, it is possible to set aside your feelings and work together to create the most beneficial arrangement for you and your former spouse. A Collaborative Approach to Problem-Solving One of the most important elements in the collaborative process is the problem-solving stage. By working together to identify issues that could stand in the way of your future financial and emotional stability, you and your partner can often achieve a better perspective on these situations. This cooperative approach can also increase your chances of finding mutually beneficial resolutions for the problems that you face as a result of your upcoming divorce. By taking on these issues together, you can promote the most positive solutions for yourself and your former spouse throughout the collaborative process. Working with a law firm that specializes in divorce arrangements, like Kezirian Law, P.C., can be a positive first step towards an amicable and cooperative arrangement between you and your spouse. If you have children, having a cordial relationship with your former spouse can help relieve some of the stress and disruption that the divorce process may have on them. When parents get along, younger family members feel more secure and at ease throughout the divorce process and into the future.

In the state of California, you have several options when pursuing divorce proceedings. Understanding the difference between mediation and litigation can help you make the best decision for your specific situation. Here are some key facts to consider when planning the dissolution of your California marriage. What Is Divorce Mediation? Mediation arrangements are designed to allow an objective and neutral third party to discuss all issues related to your divorce and to help the two of you make fair and impartial decisions in a private and safe environment. This can result in a more amicable resolution of your divorce and leave each of you in a better emotional place than when you started the divorce process. Mediation vs. Litigation When considering mediation as an alternative to divorce litigation, you should understand the primary differences between these two processes in the California legal system: Litigation can often cost more than arrangements made through mediation. With Mediation, you and your partner will maintain control over the outcome of your divorce and the decisions made about child support, child custody and the division of marital assets. The cooperative atmosphere of a mediated divorce can be less stressful for children. Mediation arrangements allow you to decide issues related to your minor children without involving third parties. In most cases involving litigation, the decisions made in court are part of the public record. Mediation decisions, however, are usually kept private. Mediated divorce agreements may be changed by the parties without a court hearing. By contrast, litigated divorce orders or judgments often require court involvement if either party wants to change the order or judgment. Since you and your partner share a mediator, your divorce is unlikely to escalate into a match between dueling attorneys or a contest to see who can spend the most money to win. If you are considering divorce in the state of California, choosing mediation or collaborative divorce over litigation in court can reduce the emotional and financial cost of your divorce. Mediation Is Not for Everyone Mediation arrangements require you and your partner to work together to find mutually acceptable solutions to the issues involved in your divorce. If anger or lingering resentments have made it difficult for you to discuss matters in a calm and cooperative manner, the mediation process may not be the right choice for your divorce. Mediation is also not recommended for cases in which domestic violence has been a factor. If, however, you can put your personal feelings aside to work together for a mutually beneficial resolution to your divorce, you can often enjoy greater benefits and lower costs by opting for mediation instead of divorce litigation. Deciding how to proceed with your divorce can be a good test case for determining if mediation is a viable solution for you and your partner. If the two of you can agree on the divorce mediation process, you may be able to take advantage of these alternatives to litigation to ensure a less stressful process for all involved parties.   If interested in seeking litigation or mediation services in Fresno, California, contact the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess today!

If you are rediscovering how to live after divorce, you may find that everyday activities can inspire unexpected emotional responses. Finding ways to cope with life after divorce can help you to begin the next phase of your life in a positive frame of mind. Here are some ways to start the healing process after your divorce is final.       [space_20] Clean Your House If you are still living with reminders of your ex-spouse, it may be time to clean house and donate or dispose of items that may cause painful memories. Clothing, furnishings and other mementos of your marriage can be sorted into boxes for donation, returned to your ex-spouse or placed into trash bags for disposal. Clearing away the last remnants of a past relationship can help you open your heart to new possibilities that may be ahead.   [space_20] Spend Time with Family and Friends Reaching out to family members and friends can help you develop a support system that can carry you through this difficult period. Planning activities with your children can also provide a welcome distraction from unpleasant feelings. By engaging with close friends and family, you can prepare yourself for life after divorce.       [space_20] Grieve and Let Go It may be difficult to allow yourself to feel sorrow over the loss of your marriage. Allowing time for the grieving process can provide you with a valuable perspective on your own life and your future. Taking time to appreciate your qualities and adjust to your new living arrangement can help you proceed with future plans and goals in a more positive frame of mind. [space_20] Be Willing to Forgive Letting go of your anger and your resentment can be the first step toward beginning the healing process. These destructive emotions can cause you further pain and can prevent you from moving on with your new life. By forgiving your former partner and putting the past behind you, you can improve your emotional health and prepare yourself for whatever life has in store for you in the future. [space_20] Manage Your Finances Controlling your spending and limiting the amount of new debt you take on can help you maintain a healthy financial profile after your divorce. Indulging in a little retail therapy on occasion can be a good way to treat yourself. If this becomes a habit, however, you may need to curtail your spending and design a strict budget that fits your income level.             [space_20] Put on a Happy Face Even when you are feeling less than hopeful, it is a good idea to project a positive image and avoid emotional displays in front of your children. It is important to remember that divorce is difficult for the younger members of your family as well. By maintaining a cheerful demeanor, you can make things easier for yourself and your children during the aftermath of your divorce. It is important not to rush things after your divorce. Emotions can run high during this critical period. By taking one day at a time and working methodically toward your goal, you can live well and happily after your divorce.  

    If you and your current partner are thinking about divorce in the state of California, consulting with an experienced attorney can help you navigate this difficult time more easily. Depending on your situation, you and your spouse may have a number of issues to resolve during the divorce process. Here are some of the most important areas to consider when planning for divorce in California.       Child Custody California courts often take an active role in protecting the welfare of minor children during a divorce. Some of the most common child custody issues include the following:    Concerns about education, religion, and medical treatment    Financial support for the needs of minor children    Living arrangements and visitation rights    The right of the custodial parent to move from one city or state to another    Allegations of domestic abuse or dependency on drugs or alcohol on the part of one parent Retaining the services of a family law attorney can help you to resolve these issues in the best interest of everyone involved. Depending on the age of your children, the courts may consider their preferences when determining who will be given primary custodial rights.   Finances Dividing your marital assets and debts in a fair and equitable manner can be a difficult task, especially if you and your spouse are not on good terms. If you are thinking of divorce, taking a financial inventory of all the assets and outstanding debts accrued during your marriage can be a good first step toward determining the best way to allocate responsibilities and resources fairly.           Spousal Support Depending on the length of the marriage and the financial resources available to each partner, the courts may order spousal support payments during the proceedings or for a definite or indefinite period of time after the divorce is final. For marriages of less than ten years in duration, the California court system typically limits spousal support payments to half the length of the marriage. If you and your partner are both working and earning a living income, however, you should not depend on spousal support payments when thinking about divorce. These arrangements are usually reserved for those without other means of financial support after the end of the marriage.   Child Support Child support payments may also be required to ensure the welfare of your minor children. These payments are usually made to the custodial parent and are intended to provide for the basic needs of the children. In most cases, child support payments are scaled to the income levels of the divorcing parents. If you are thinking of divorce, considering the financial impact of child support can help you prepare more effectively for these future expenses. Your attorney can help you manage the financial aspects of your divorce to ensure the most positive resolution of these issues. This can help you and your former partner enjoy a fresh start after the dissolution of your marriage.   If you or your partner are thinking of divorce, considering these issues before making any legal decisions can help you to prepare for the process more efficiently. Consulting with a qualified and experienced lawyer can be a good first step toward a fair and evenhanded resolution of your marital issues.   If looking for a divorce attorney in or around Fresno, California, contact the Law Office of Julia Ann Brungess. Call 559-226-4008 today!

The holidays are normally about family coming together, but what happens when you and your spouse are negotiating a divorce during this special time of year? Big changes can bring about undue stress, especially when they come as the result of conflict. However, it is still possible to have a peaceful holiday season, even during such a big life change. Just because your family dynamic is changing doesn’t mean that you can’t guard your loved ones from the stresses associated with a more traditional, confrontational divorce. By choosing a collaborative divorce method, you and your former partner can work together to decide what is best for everyone. ● How will the holidays be spent during the divorce? ● At whose home will celebrations take place? ● Will you still spend them together or split the time between parents? Answering these questions with the support of a team of compassionate legal professionals can create an environment of cooperation in spite of irreconcilable differences. More importantly, you can decide on a way to share these changes with other family members, and especially children, who might be feeling anxiety about how a divorce will affect not only their holidays, but the rest of their lives as well. At the Law Offices of Julia Brungess, we believe that that through creative thoughtfulness and open communication it is possible to reach a resolution that can keep everyone’s best interests at heart. Divorce comes with trauma no matter what, but it is possible to lessen the impact and preserve important family relationships so you and your loved ones can look forward to many harmonious and joyful holiday seasons to come.