Divorce Advice

Gift-Giving Tips for Divorced Parents

The holidays are a joyous time for most families and offer plenty of opportunities for sharing the spirit of the season with the ones who matter most. Finding the right way to manage gift-giving activities after your divorce in California can be a challenging proposition. This is especially true for divorced couples with children. Making sure that you and your former partner communicate your intentions regarding gifts for your children will help you provide the happiest holiday experience for the younger members of your family. Here are some of the most helpful tips for dealing with holiday presents this year. Keep Things Civilized Even if you and your former partner are not on the best of terms, making an effort to communicate in a civilized manner during the holidays can help create a festive atmosphere for everyone involved. If you and your former spouse can find a way to put your differences aside, you can collaborate on the gift-giving process and the entire holiday celebration. This will help ensure the best and most practical solutions for providing your children with the most joyous holidays possible. Compare Notes Nothing can ruin a holiday celebration more quickly than duplicated gifts, especially for expensive items that make up a good portion of your holiday budget. By working together with your former partner to decide on who will buy specific gifts, you will be able to use your available funds in the most practical way. This will reduce the possibility of disappointment when giving gifts to your children during the holiday season. Use Technology to Communicate If you have difficulty in communicating face-to-face or over the phone with your former spouse, email and texting can provide you with a convenient way to touch base without the emotional baggage that can accompany personal interactions. By limiting your communications to methods that require little or no direct back-and-forth discussion, you can promote a more cordial relationship while reducing the risk of misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Give and Let Go Once the presents have been given to your children, it is important to let go of any possessive thoughts about these items and allow your child to decide whether they want to keep your gifts at your home or at your co-parent’s home. This will ensure that your children feel as comfortable and secure as possible. By treating gifts as the exclusive property of your children, you can lower the chance that your children will feel as if your presents come with strings attached. This will help them be more confident and make their own decisions with greater self-assurance. Be Willing to Compromise With any co-parenting relationship, there may be disagreements on the right approach to raising your children after a divorce in California. Finding ways to overcome these disagreements and decide on the appropriate gifts for your children can be essential to your ability to continue to co-parent effectively in the future. A little kindness will go a long way toward resolving issues that could arise from your holiday planning process. By working together with your former spouse, you can create a memorable holiday season and a happy new year for your children and yourselves.

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Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting and What is Right for Your Family

Finding the right parenting style after your divorce is final will help you and your former spouse or partner provide the most nurturing and positive experience for your children. Most divorced couples fall into one of two parenting styles: Co-parenting is a more collaborative approach to child-rearing that allows both parents to interact with each other and make decisions together. This method is best suited to situations in which the parents are on good terms and can speak easily to each other about their children and other important events in their lives. Parallel parenting is designed to allow parents to avoid unnecessary contact with each other. This is best in cases where hurt feelings and hostility may affect the ability of two parents to communicate without animosity. Understanding the different aspects of these two styles of parenting after a divorce will allow you to make the most appropriate choices for your children. Here are some of the primary differences between these options for you and your family. How to Collaboratively Co-Parent When Parallel Parenting Is a Better Choice This approach is intended to allow parents to provide real support for their children without allowing their personal feelings to interfere. As emotional upset fades over time, parallel arrangements can sometimes evolve to become more collaborative and cooperative. This can help you to provide the most positive support for your children after your divorce is final. Determining whether parallel parenting or co-parenting is right for you and your family is an important step in navigating the parenting process after a divorce. Both of these approaches have advantages and disadvantages. Choosing the right parenting style is essential to ensure the best support for your children after a divorce.

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What To Do with Joint Credit Cards When Seeking a Divorce

Finances are often a major concern for divorcing couples. Joint credit cards can present significant challenges during the process of dividing assets and liabilities. It can be very difficult to determine the source of the charges on these accounts, which could lead to significant disagreements and conflict. Here are some of the most practical options for dealing with credit card debt during your divorce. Cancel Your Cards File Quickly If you and your former spouse are on unfriendly terms, filing quickly and getting your financial assets and debts on the record will protect you against unexpected changes to your credit card balances. Once your financial information is on record, any added charges made by your former spouse will be evident and factored into the division of assets and debts. This will help protect you and your financial situation during the first stages of the dissolution of your marriage and will allow you to move forward without the burden of crippling debt that you did not incur. Maintain Careful Records If you and your former partner have large amounts of credit card debt, it might be worthwhile to see a credit counseling agency to find practical ways to reduce this debt before beginning the divorce process. This can allow both of you to begin your lives in a better financial position and will provide benefits that will last for years to come. Finding the best ways to deal with joint credit cards and credit card debt can make divorcing your partner a much less stressful process. Using a few practical strategies will provide you with the best outcomes for your financial situation and your future.

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The Importance of Seeking Financial Advice Before Divorcing

If you are considering divorce, now may be the right time to consult with a financial advisor to determine the effects divorce proceedings will have on your budget and financial situation. Seeking financial advice before divorce may give you a much better idea of what you can expect during and after the separation of your assets and liabilities during the divorce process. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind when planning for a divorce from a financial standpoint. Work With a Professional While close friends and family members may have suggestions for you regarding managing your finances during and after a divorce, they may not have all the facts and may offer incorrect advice for your situation. Working with a financial planner with proven experience is the best strategy for managing your finances throughout the divorce process. By working with a professional, you can achieve the best results for yourself, your children and your future. Begin the Administrative Process A lot of the work involved in separating your finances from your former spouse is administrative. Doing things such as closing joint credit accounts and transferring your direct deposits to a new bank account in your name only can protect you from unexpected actions by your partner during the lead up to your divorce proceedings. You may also need to change your medical directives and remove the power of attorney from your former spouse as well as changing the beneficiaries of your life insurance policy, pension, and other retirement accounts. If you do not have credit in your name, now may be the best time to begin establishing your own credit history to improve your financial situation in advance of your divorce proceedings. Take Stock of Your Situation Especially if you have children or teenagers to consider, looking at the bills you pay and the expenses you have every month can help you create a budget for your future. By seeking financial advice before divorce proceedings begin, you may be able to determine the amount you will have available for rent, if necessary, and to manage the unexpected costs that often arise for parents. Taking a thorough inventory of your financial situation and the outstanding debts and expenses you must meet every month can allow you to make good decisions and proceed with greater awareness of your financial situation during your divorce proceedings. Consult With an Attorney Working with a mediation attorney can be a good way to determine your legal rights and responsibilities before beginning divorce proceedings. These professionals can provide you with guidance on the laws applicable to your case and the likely financial repercussions of a divorce on you, your children and your former spouse. By taking the time to consult with a qualified and experienced mediation attorney, you will be laying the right groundwork for a better future. Planning can be a critical step in protecting yourself financially in a divorce. Working with professionals in the legal and financial field is often the best course of action when planning for a divorce.

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How to Transition From Being Spouses to Being Co-Parents

Are you currently dealing with a divorce in California where there are children involved? If so, ensuring the welfare of your children is probably a top priority for you and your former spouse. Managing the transition from marriage to separate households and separate parenting duties can be a challenge. Here are some of the most practical tips for divorcing couples in the state of California. Establish Boundaries Successful co-parenting often requires that both parties establish boundaries regarding their personal lives and relationships. Setting boundaries helps to prevent hard feelings and avoid emotional upsets that can jeopardize your ability to work together for the benefit of your children. By creating guidelines for discussing your parenting responsibilities and making specific topics off-limits, you can pave the way for a more positive relationship. Present a United Front Making sure that you and your former spouse are on the same page regarding responsibilities and shared information can help you deal with situations more easily. If you and your co-parent can agree on fundamental issues involving your children, you can eliminate disagreements that may cause problems for your children and your co-parenting plan. Consider a Collaborative Divorce One way to maintain a cordial and perhaps even friendly relationship with your former spouse is to consider collaborative divorce proceedings. These arrangements can allow you to work more effectively when deciding on custody, educational options and medical care for your children. Seeking a collaborative divorce can also help you manage the complexities of divorce in a way that is beneficial for all. Remember Your Shared Goals Although your marriage is over, the health and well-being of your children should be a top priority for you and your former partner. By keeping the shared goal of raising healthy and happy children in mind when discussing issues with your former spouse, you can foster positive interactions that help you obtain the best outcomes for your children. Being on the same page can also help children weather the California divorce process because it can provide them with emotional support throughout the process. Maintain Open Lines of Communication Staying in close contact with your co-parent can be the best way to provide a stable and secure environment for your children. Letting your former spouse know about school activities and athletic competitions can ensure they can be present for these important events in your child’s life. By working together and providing key information to each other, you and your former partner can ensure that your children know they are loved and supported even after the end of your marriage. By taking a collaborative approach to your divorce proceedings, you can ease the transition from life as a married couple to that of co-parents to your children. Collaboration can also help you and your former partner begin your new lives in a more positive and cordial manner and provide you with added help for providing the best support to your children during this difficult time.

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How to Prepare Financially for Divorce

Even before you begin divorce proceedings, it is a good idea to start planning for the divorce process. Preparing yourself financially and emotionally can help you deal with the expenses and stresses that can accompany divorce proceedings. Here are a few of the most effective strategies to help you prepare for divorce in the state of California. Open Your Own Bank Account Most married couples maintain joint accounts to make bill paying and other expenditures easier. If you are considering divorce, you should open a separate bank account, which will help streamline the process for separating your finances from those of your former spouse. This can save time and worry later on in your divorce proceedings and can help you manage your money more effectively in the period preceding your divorce. Close Joint Bank Accounts Closing the bank accounts you hold jointly can also help you and your former partner prepare for divorce. By beginning the process of separating your finances, you can ensure the smoothest transition from marriage to divorce and your new life. The process of closing your joint bank accounts will require cooperation between you and your former spouse. Save Your Money Divorce can sometimes be an expensive process. Saving up money during the time leading up to filing for divorce can help you manage the costs of hiring an attorney and the court costs associated with your proceedings. By avoiding any major expenditures during this period, you can also ensure that you have sufficient cash on hand to manage moving expenses and other essentials during and after your divorce. Discuss Matters of Financial Importance If you and your former spouse have children or if you have other significant responsibilities that must be handled, taking the time to discuss these matters can sometimes provide you with peace of mind and a more streamlined approach to these matters. Some of the most important topics for discussion may include the following: Custody and child support for minor children in your care The division of assets and debts during the divorce proceedings Retention or sale of the family home Living arrangements and spousal support If you and your former partner can come to an agreement on these issues before beginning divorce proceedings, you can often reduce the time needed to complete your divorce. This can sometimes reduce the cost of legal services and can help you and your former spouse to manage these decisions more effectively. Document Your Finances Making copies of your financial documents, including bank and mortgage statements and pay stubs, can ensure that you can provide your attorney with the most complete and comprehensive information on your financial situation. This can often help you make the most practical and beneficial arrangements during the divorce process. By taking proactive steps to manage your finances during the period leading up to your divorce, you can weather the process more successfully. A little bit of planning in advance can pay off by improving financial stability during and after your divorce.

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Helpful Tips for a Healthy Divorce

Finding a way to navigate divorce proceedings effectively can provide benefits for you, your partner and your children. A few helpful hints can make a big difference in your comfort level and your experience during the divorce process. Here are some of the most effective strategies for finding common ground and making the divorce easier on everyone involved. Deal with Your Emotions Divorce can be painful and emotionally exhausting. Taking steps to deal with your feelings and putting them aside during your divorce proceedings can help you make the most practical and rational choices for you and your family. Controlling your emotions will also help set a good example for your children and can help you maintain a cordial relationship with your former spouse until after your divorce is complete. Be Willing to Negotiate Looking for points on which you and your former spouse agree upon helps build a solid foundation for negotiations and compromises that can help expedite your divorce proceedings. Negotiating can help streamline the process for determining the division of assets and debts, child custody, child support arrangements and other decisions of importance during your divorce. This can make the process less painful for you and your former partner because each of you will have a say in the decision-making process. Take Time Out for You It can be easy to overlook your health and well-being during a difficult divorce. Neglecting your health can lead to issues which may result in a reduced ability to deal with the stresses and processes involved when going through a divorce. By setting aside time to relax and decompress, you can better prepare yourself for the divorce process. Be Honest With Your Kids While you may not be comfortable sharing all of the details of your divorce with your children, being as honest as possible can help your children feel more secure about the overall process. By providing honest information on a need-to-know basis, you can promote a healthier attitude in front of your children. Consider Divorce Mediation Divorce mediation can provide you with added help in keeping your divorce proceedings as cordial and productive as possible. Lawyers who offer mediation services can provide you with cost-effective and practical solutions for child support, child custody as well as the division of assets and debts. By integrating these four strategies into your overall approach when seeking a divorce, you can take some of the stress out of the process while promoting a healthy environment for everyone. This can help all of you begin your new lives in the best possible way!

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Five Ways to Reduce Stress Levels During the Divorce Process

Divorce can be painful and emotionally draining even when the proceedings are amicable. Finding ways to deal with the stress associated with the California divorce process can provide you with added emotional resources to draw on during this difficult time. Here are five tested strategies to help you navigate divorce in a healthy and stress free way. Get Some Exercise Exercising and staying fit can help you drain off some nervous energy and build strength. This added physical activity can also help to balance your hormonal levels to deal with the stress of your divorce and all the associated activities and responsibilities. By taking time out for fitness and health, you can even boost your immune system to reduce the risk of colds and other illnesses that could slow you down during this critical time of your life.   Catch Up on Sleep   Just as exercise helps you build strength and endurance, sleep is necessary to rest your mind and to provide you with greater emotional stability. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, adults require seven or more hours of sleep every night to enjoy the best possible health. More than one-third of adults report sleeping less than the recommended amount on a regular basis. By making sure that you get plenty of sleep, you can increase your ability to take on new challenges and to deal with the California divorce process more effectively every day.   Talk to a Friend Setting aside some time to share your emotional journey with your friends can ensure that you maintain valuable perspective on your situation. By seeking support from loyal and trusted family members and friends, you can feel less alone during your divorce proceedings. Lunches, get-togethers and movie nights can be good ways to boost your spirits and to help you maintain the most positive attitude on your current situation and your future prospects. Keep a Journal Writing down your thoughts, feelings and experiences during the California divorce process can also help you achieve a more positive perspective on these events and activities. By keeping a comprehensive written record, you may also be able to look back on these events and to share them with others who may be in a similar situation in the future.   Consider Collaborative Divorce If you and your former partner are still on reasonably amicable terms, a collaborative divorce arrangement might be the right solution for you. By working together to come to mutually beneficial agreements, you and your former spouse can often reduce the stress associated with divorce and can enjoy the greatest possible flexibility when dealing with issues related to child custody, division of assets and debts and living arrangements after the divorce is final. This can help each of you to move on in a more positive and practical way. Collaborative divorce is not for everyone. It is not recommended, for example, in cases where physical or emotional abuses have taken place. If you and your partner are on reasonably good terms and can discuss issues safely and rationally, you may be good candidates for this style of divorce in California.

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